This web site is intended for mature audiences, and should not be accessed by persons under 18 years of age, those with I.Q.s under 18, or washed up WHO@ attorneys with nothing better to do than squander their gullible client's dollars by composing empty intimidation letters to political satirists. This web site is not intended for loonies, idiots, fools, cretins, morons, imbeciles, the constitutionally clueless, Art Bell fans, vacuous right-wing hyenas, fruit-loops, or "sacred sisters".
Warning! This site is a PARODY. A parody is defined as: A composition that imitates somebody's style in a humourous way, or: humourous or satirical mimicry. In plain English, this site makes fun of woo woo extremists whether they are animal rights activists, wiccans, ufologists, crystal skull experts, religious zealots, or in fact any person or group who take a good thing (or a bad thing) too far. This site may contain wise cracks that are unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs.
Any resemblance to real persons or institutions is entirely intentional. If you are offended by
this site, then you need to grow up and stop believing in weird-ass things. Satire is protected free speech, even if the dumb-asses it is directed at don't get it.
New Agers who are offended when their asinine ideas are parodied are invited to go to this safe,
positive filtered page. This page is
approved by the Office of Homeland Security and nothing on this page will challenge your belief system in any way.
You use this web site at your own risk; we will accept no responsibility for any injury, mental or physical, to yourself or others, directly or indirectly caused by reading these pages. We are not responsible for any damage done by banging your head on your computer terminal. By viewing this web site you agree not to sue us. If this is your intention, please forward all correspondence to Sooda, Bastards and Howe, MP, House of Commons, London, Ontario. All our lawyers are F.B.I. (Freak'n Big Indians) and they can kick the snot out of your lawyers.
If you think we're getting smart with you, how would you know?
This is not a slam on any one segment of society, nor is it a direct attack on people who advocate alternative religions. It is a commentary of how any belief system can be bastardized by a few individuals who lose complete site of the original aim of the belief system they originally espoused. Pursing an alternative religion is not, per se, an unworthy pursuit, it is however when fanatics harm innocent human beings and trample on their civil rights in the process.
This site was created in the winter of 2003 during a frantic week of little sleep, lots of coffee, and a shit-load of inspiration. After 9/11, certain groups have shown exactly how progressive they really are by trying to silence all dissent directed at their lame ass web sites. This just shows how far people who don't understand the concept of balance will take their causes.
Please Note: There are a group of people who are mentioned on these pages that are attempting to shut down this site. They have made it clear that they demand that we take down all references to their organization and publicly apologize for mentioning them on these pages. We refuse to do so because this is a form of free speech and we believe it is our right to say whatever we wish. We have the right to refer to any silly ass crap we want to under the fair use doctrine. So there! This site once again is a parody and every page has a link to this disclaimer stating the fact clearly. If these people are so humourless that they cannot take reference to their community in a joking manner as it is intended, then that is their issues and they need to deal with them. Once again, people taking things too far, for if we cannot laugh at anyone, there would be no humour left in this world.
Please note that by sending an email to our address you are agreeing that: We are by definition, "the intended recipients". All information in the email is ours to do with as we see fit. We are free to make any financial profit, political mileage, or good jokes out of it that suits our fancy. In particular, we may quote it on Usenet and we may take the contents as representing the views of your company. This overrides any disclaimer or statement of confidentiality that may be included on your message - times infinity! We called it first. Those are the rules.
The Acorn Coffee Club offers to its visitors a parody of the New Age phenomenon. It is a satirical take on the whole "spiritual smorgasbord cute flavor of the week" thing that has spread like, well, wildfire all over the Internet. We hear that many of the people responsible for New Age websites are lawsuit happy...too bad. Everything on this site is original and created from scratch on Adobe Photoshop 8.0. Anyway, we have every right to parody this kind of cultural phenomenon. It's called "free speech". Deal with it.
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