One Hundred Original Ideas for Horror Movies (#1 - 5)

A while ago, I was lamenting the abundance of horror remakes, and the lack of original ideas. I wrote that I could think of 100 creative ideas for horror movies. Lately, I've been thinking, I wonder if I was just talking out of my ass, or if I could actually come up with 100 ideas?

I say it's worth a try.

The rules: Ideas must be good enough for a movie, but are allowed to be extremely cheesy. "Chopping Mall", seen here, is a real movie, so that level of cheese is allowed. Ideas must also be horror-related, though sub-genres are allowed (comedy-horror, action-horror, erotic horror(?), etc.).

Without further adiue....adiew..er...delay, here are the first five:

• #1) Slayground: Some children find an ancient scroll in their attic. They read it in the playground, unknowingly trapping the soul of Satan himself in the monkey bars. The jungle gym's killing spree won't stop until every kid at school has fallen off of it and broken their necks (yes, this idea is from my previous post).
  
  
• #2) Fauxmpires: Pronounced "foam-pires". Residents of a small town begin to die unexpectedly. Police find bite marks on their necks. The residents aren't stupid, so they're like "oh snap, vampire problem!" One family in particular is never seen in daylight and are very secretive. The townspeople drag the family's young daughter into sunlight, and she bursts into flames. The twist: The family just has a horrible disease that causes their skin to burn in sunlight. The double-twist: A real vampire put stuff in the family's water that gave them the disease, creating "faux vampires" in order to throw suspicion off himself. Clever vampire!
  
  
• #3) Roll Over...and Die: Really cute puppies are evil and kill people. Features many shots of cute puppies doing horrible things, then being shot and chopped up in self-defense. Very controversial.
  
  
  
• #4) Pop Goes the DEATH!: People begin to die in an unusual manner: they disintigrate from the inside out, leaving just a soggy bag of flesh. An intelligent reporter does some research and finds Coca-Cola in all of their fridges. She puts Coke out of business, but then digs deeper and ends up at Pepsi. Turns out that Coke had stolen some ingredients from Pepsi, but they made a mistake: Pepsi had person-melting acid in their warehouses, but they didn't put it in their cola. They used it to melt people, then put the melted people in their cola. IT'S PEOPLE!
  
  
  
  
  
  
• #5) The Alfreds: Directed by Gus Van Sant, a shot-for-shot remake of "The Birds", except instead of birds, the city is attacked by thousands of tiny naked Alfred Hitchcocks with wings.
  

That's all for now.

P.S. I was inspired to start writing this by seeing Hostel last night (in addition to being home sick and having nothing better to do). That was a nice, original, horror movie with enough balls to be disturbing for the sake of being disturbing. I hope Eli Roth continues making movies like Hostel and Cabin Fever and doesn't start putting out crap or going mainstream, like every other "horror" director has done.

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