October

October 1 2001
What a day busy as a little bee at work. Feeling kinda blah. I never weighed in this week. I know bad bad. I will weigh in this Saturday though. (Oct 6 2001). There has been a lot going on lately, with family, and the whole office move thing, not much time to concentrate on eating. Although that could be a good thing, since I have not been eating to badly, and am enjoying my walks. I am trying hard to do an exercise video every 2 nights at home. I am hoping that will help keep the incentive going to lose the weight. Sometimes it is hard to keep plugging along.
October 2 2001
Another busy day in my world. Curtis is now going to his Nana's before and after school, and it is much easier to get him out the door in the mornings. Sometimes he did not want to go to my sister in laws, which made it kinda hard, some mornings were a real struggle. Hopefully he will be fine at Nana's for a while anyway. Work is still busy with packing up the office and stuff, our office moves Friday to another end of town should be a good move, but no everyone is happy about it.

My eating has been good, I have been really working hard on the water, but someday's I just can't do it. Crazy I know, but I feel like I am going to float away, and I know that is one of the keys to dieting, staying away from pop and stuff, and drinking plenty of water.

A friend of mine lost 3 inches in 6 weeks doing that, she drank water every day ( oh ya she ate food but for beverage only had water), and that is it, except she allowed herself 2 non water drinks a week, she said she really enjoyed it, and now she craves water. Maybe that will work for me. I just need the gumption to stay away from pop, but I don't drink Tea or Coffee so that is kinda like my caffine thing ya know.

Take care everyone

Pat
October 3 2001
Back at it again! I am doing pretty good at getting my water in, the excersise not so good. I did work with my weights tonight for about 20 minutes but that is all. OH NO that is not good at all. I need to focus and sometimes that is really hard for me. Especially if I have a lot going on, like the office move at work. Our son going to my mother in laws instead of my sister in laws, which was an easy transition for him, hard between my sister in law and I.

October 4 2001
Well we finished packing the office today, the office movers come in tomorrow morning, and move all our stuff to the new building. YAHOO. It is in a really nice area, and has great views J plus walking trails all around it, and it is right on the water. So that will be incentive enough. I love walking though, I have to do other things though, and that is hard for me. I can find the time and money to walk, but heading to the pool and stuff is hard for me.

October 5 2001

Another day has gone by. Am I satisfied with where I have been, and what I have done? I guess I just don't know yet. I have been trying hard, but sometimes it feels like no matter what I do, it seems that I am not moving forward you know what I mean? Crazy isn't it? I still feel confident and happy about the way things are going but sometimes it seems to fade, others it is as strong as ever. Learning to deal with my "triggers" has been a big step for me. That means re training myself not to eat during stressful or emotional times. Trying to walk, write, work out, have a bath, read a book, listen to music, anything but put food to my lips. I guess that for some of us food is the drug, that is a hard habit to break. I know it has been rough on me. But I am making it one day at a time. Each day I make it is a success for me, a hurdle I have overcome.

Sure at times it is frustrating and emotional, but I am not giving up. There is no point, giving up won't get me to where I want to be. Giving up will only send me on a downward spiral. For me just believing in myself, believing I was worth, and believing I could do it, have been help.

Tomorrow is weigh in day, and I am not exactly jumping for joy over it, but I will do it. Missed last week, and that was bad enough. I need to stay on track all the time, and follow the rules I set for myself. No one out there, can make me eat, just like no one can make me cry, or make me mad. In reality, we are in charge of our emotions, not someone else. That can be a hard lesson to learn. I have had to relearn how I react to situations.

October 6 2001

Well happy Thanksgiving weekend to all the Canadian's out there, I am having Turkey Dinner tonight and tomorrow. Good think I like Turkey. I weighed in, and am happy to say I have lost another 5 lbs. which puts me at 196 (UNDER 200) YES, you can see my full weightloss chart on my progressc page and my main progress page. I am pretty happy about that. Considering I did not weigh in last weekend out of fear. Bad move I know, but now I am raring to go off on another week, of dieting mayhem. Hopefully I will continue on my good track, but with 2 turkey dinners. GULP I will make sure to eat lots of salads and stuff as well. I will work on the water drinking as well.

October 7 2001

Went to the in-laws for Turkey dinner last night, had a roll, some turkey and salad. Today it is off to my parents for dinner. Turkey dinner with everything LOL. I am taking a veggie plate though, and salad, hopefully I can be good J I am feeling good about how I am doing, and looking forward to when I can really notice the results. I see a little bit now, but not to much. Mostly in my face, my face is not as blotchy now that I am drinking lots of water.

I worked with my hand weights last night, not long about 15 minutes, and plan on doing the same tonight J then those dreaded crunches I hate so much. Going to try to do 10 each night before bed this week, then up it a little each time, then add the others, for the oblique (sp.) and the lower abs, eventually anyway. I am looking forward as I said before to working at the new office, where I can walk lots, down the paths and stuff. It may be hard to keep motivated when the nasty weather comes, but I am going to certainly try to put in the effort. I am going to work hard to do the stairs up and down, we are on the 4th floor now. I know there are somedays my horrid knee won't let me, but I am going to try it.

Although the weight isn't dropping off over night, and I still cannot see much difference in myself, just knowing I am doing it and not giving up, or stopping and starting makes me feel good. I know this is not a diet anymore, it is a lifestyle change, that will be with me forever. So if I do bad one day, oh well back on the saddle the next day, because I have realized this is a forever thing, not just until I lose the weight, then I will have to maintain to stay there, and keep my hopefully learned good eating habits, water drinking, and work outs in check.

Thanks to everyone who has been signing up for the challenge, it is not to late to join the 20lbs for christmas challenge J see the challenge page for details

October 8 2001

Lets just say without getting into too much detail dinner was not exactly a complete success, the food was great, I ate well! But there was a large argument, some people left. It was not pretty, but time to grow up and move on you know. I am happy with how I am doing and really working on the water today on my 6th glass. WOO HOO Planning on a nice chicken dinner tonight, so that will be nice.

October 9 2001

First day in the new office wow what a day certainly busy unpacking and looking for missing items. I went to Subway for lunch and had a tuna sub. For dinner I had spaghetti and breakfast was a banana. I did have a pop today though L but I am not too worried about it. We are right on the harbor now, and there is a really nice pathway there, I walked it 3 times well really 4 but at 3 times. On my break I went there and back 1 time, takes about 15 minutes. At lunch I went 2 times, and at my other break I went once. I felt good too. Other than that I didn't do too much except clean the house and laundry when I got home. I am feeling good. Believing in myself is sometimes really hard though. Sometimes I look in the mirror and the changes are just not fast enough, I want to see more now. I did do 15 minutes of various crunches tonight (yes I actually broke down and did them)

October 10 2001

Another day in paradise. I love the new office the location is excellent (not for shopping but for walking and relaxation it is. I walked the bridge 2 x today and walked to Tim hortans for lunch and had chili and a bagel with a small pop. (I know bad pop bad L ) but not nearly as bad as I used to be. I also had like 8 bottles of water today. It is great because my office is right near the fridge so I can keep one at my desk and one at the freezer and rotate them (I love cold water) works perfect for me.

I did not do my crunches or anything like that tonight, my abs are still hurting from last night LOL so I guess this is an every 2 days type of exercise. I just wish it was all happening quicker you know, quicker than it is anyway. Sometimes the waiting is harder than being over weight. (Okay don't get mad I said SOMETIMES) I hate waiting, even at Christmas I hate waiting LOL.

October 11 2001

I did not do much of anything today. Not even eat. I have the flu bug. Every time I try to eat I get sick, I even tried toast and crackers, no luck, Ginger ale goes down all right as well as water.

October 12 2001

DS played his first Soccer game today and they won 2-1 they were soooo excited. We are kinda the misfits of the league. You know all those movies they make of the misfit teams well that is us. LOL they are cute though, and try really hard. Still not feeling that great.

October 13 2001

I wish this flu would go away! We cleaned the carpets and the couch and chair today. WOW it looks great. I have not spoken to my brother's wife since last weekend, OH well life will go on. Really it is the kids that suffer not me or her. That is the sad part. Being sick I did not weigh in this week. I don't think it would have been accurate. I am going to do my weight and measurements next week though and upload the new data! My in laws were supposed to come for dinner tonight, they phoned and canceled though. No big deal still feeling under the weather so I really didn't need company anyway LOL.

October 14

I did not do to bad today. Still not feeling well

October 15

Just could not get motivated today. Not sure why. Went for my walk and stuff, but just couldn't get into the whole grove of things. Must be because of the bug I had. I hope it is. I am not used to being that way it doesn't help being Monday!

October 16

Much better today! J Feeling more myself! Thank goodness! I thought I was on a downhill stretch and the end was no where near me. I ate well went to TH for lunch today had chili and a bagel I am sure that is not the best lunch but hopefully better than burger fries and a coke and chips and (should I really go on? NOPE!) So I made the decision. Didn't walk much today. Kinda tired and drained.

October 17

Energized That is the only way to describe today. I felt energized I went for two nice long walks at work, and felt great. I took the stairs once (well between 3 and 4 I do all day but up from the lobby to 4 not that often) I had some Chinese food for lunch But didn't feel that great so I only had a little. I did have a burger for dinner it came with fries but I only had a couple. I drank tons of water today though, I feel like a lake LOL. I just realized I forgot to update my site. OH NO I hope you will all forgive me, I will post the newest one on the 19th (Friday) I will be away for four days next week Monday - late Thursday for a business trip. OH I will do good (I hope) WE always eat out and stuff, but I am going to put in a great effort to do well. The hotel has a pool and weight room, My conference ends at 8pm every night, so I am hoping it is open until 10pm and I can get some time in there. That would be nice. Although I will miss DH and DS I am looking forward to getting away. Having that time in the evening to myself, I am going to journal each day then type it in when I get back, Maybe it will help being able to write in peace. Who knows.

I am going to re do my goals at the end of the month for November and December I think I can add more stuff to it now. I know I have not fulfilled all my goals for the previous months but most of them I did so those need to be changed.

October 21 2001

Well I have not done my journal in a few days L sorry about that. I am going on a business trip tomorrow and won't be back until late on Thursday so I wanted to spend some time with my DH and DS we had a lot of fun. DS won his soccer game Saturday boy was he a happy guy! They all were dancing around and stuff and laughing it was fun!

October 28, 2001

I am back from my business trip, and since I don't check my site all the time. I just noticed that the last 2 updates were not uploaded for some reason. Sorry about that. Hope you don't mind back reading or starting new from now. There is still lots of time to put your name down for the challenge on the challenge page I am doing all right besides gaining weight. UGH I know I can do this. Sometimes it is hard for me to be strong no matter what I do. And the guilt is awful I have some new goals for myself like getting up 30 minutes earlier and trying to do a walk, bike or weight work out in the morning (Rev up for the day) Getting all my water in, doing my affirmations in the mirror, eating fruits and veggies.