SEASON FIVE

EPISODE 5: IF WISHES WERE BOOKS...
PART TWO

By: Elektra

 SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE WWF TITANPRIZE. IT'S MISSION: TO EXPLORE AND ENTERTAIN NEW SOCIETIES AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS.  TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO WRESTLER HAS GONE BEFORE!

TITANPRIZE CREW:

Captain Vincent K. McMahon
First Officer, Commander Shane McMahon
Chief Engineer, Commander Stephanie McMahon
Chief of Chiefs, Commander Linda McMahon
Chief of Security, Commander Kane
Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Taker
Diagnostics Officer, Lieutenant Commander Jericho
Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Commander Austin
Transporter Chief, Lieutenant Commander Debra McMichael
Communications Officer, Lieutenant Rock
Counselor Al Snow (assisted by H.E.A.D.)

... And many more!
 

WWF TITANPRIZE-CAPTAIN'S READY ROOM

    "Captain's personal log, stardate 062920.00. It seems a few of my crewmembers have decided to take in the mountains on planet Kanata. As long as they do it in their off time, then I have no problem with it.  Stephanie seemed especially excited. She was going on about finding something that could make her dreams come true, " Captain McMahon frowned, "Funny,  I never took her for the out-doors type before..." he shrugged, and closed his log book.

*    *    *

KANATIAN MOUNTAINS

    "It's kinda dark in here, Miss Chyna... don't you think?" Ensign Crash said nervously.

    "Mamacita isn't afraid of the dark!" Ensign Guerrero replied, "Are YOU, Crash?"

    "Uh... of course not!" Crash spoke quickly, "but.. um... what if our flashlights die?"

    "I have tons of batteries in my pack, Crash. It's ok!" Chyna spoke. "Now what does the tricorder say? Any sign of golden rocks?"

    "No, Miss Chyna," Crash stopped as the tricorder beeped, "OH! Wait! There's something over here," he turned towards a narrow cavern, "Think you can fit in here?" he asked, "I'm picking up... something..." he said.

    "Well, we can try!" Eddie replied, "Since you're the smallest, you go first, Crash,"

    "ME?!" Crash gulped, his claustrophobia catching up to him again.

    "What's the matter, Crash?" Chyna asked, concerned.

    "It's, uhh..." he took a deep breath. He'd be brave... for Miss Chyna's sake, "Nothing! Nothing at all. I'll go first!"

    He took a deep breath, and headed into the cavern.

*    *    *

    "It's so DIRTY in here!" Ensign Edge said, "I'm going to have to wash my hair TWICE to get back its beautiful shine!"

    "I know, brother, I know..." Ensign Christian replied as the two tracked their way through the caverns, "But just think! The cover of Galaxy Beat, just THE most read teen magazine in the United WrestleFleet Federation! It'll be all worth it!"

    "I hope you're right, Christian,  because if my skin becomes all pasty from being out of the sun too long, I'm going to take your mirror away for a day!"

    "NO! You can't do that! That is SO unfair!" Christian whined, then looked up at Edge like a scared child, "You really wouldn't do that... would you big brother?"

    "Depends on what we find here! Come. Let's continue our search!" Edge said.

    Christian quickly followed as his brother went down another tunnel

*    *    *

    "Lt. Commander Jericho, you are stronger then myself, being an android and all... so why is it that I am carrying these heavy bags?" Ensign Angle asked.

    "Because I am your superior officer, and I said so!" Jericho replied as he scanned the area for gold, like the stone Ensign Angle claimed the wish-book was hidden under.

    "Here, Kurt. I'll take one of those bags..." Stephanie offered.

    "Oh no, I couldn't ask a lady like yourself to do such menial labour! It's ok! I'll be fine, Commander," Angle said.

    Lt. Commander Jericho just rolled his eyes, "If you're quite done brown-nosing," he said, "We're going down THIS tunnel!"

    The two followed Jericho's lead.

*    *    *

    "There's something down that way!" Crash said happily as he followed the beeping on the tricorder.

    Eddie and Chyna followed, "Do you know where we're going?" Eddie asked.

    "Uh, no... but I can find my way out. Don't worry!" Crash replied.

    "I HOPE so... or else we'll be stuck here!" Chyna said.

    "Let's just follow the tricorder! Come on!" the three continued down the tunnel.

*    *    *

    Edge stopped dead in his tracks, "Brother, look at this!" he gasped.

    Christian came up to him, "It's your REFLECTION, Edge!"

    Both Edge and Christian looked at what was before them, "Amazing, isn't it?" Edge started, "Though..." he scratched his chin, as did his reflection, "It looks a little odd!"

    He then smiled widely.

    His reflection did NOT.

    "Ensign Edge, you are blinding me with the glare from your teeth! Kindly move out of my way!"

    Ensign Edge let out a scream and jumped back. His reflection TALKED! And… wait a minute,  "Lt. Commander Jericho!"

    "And Commander Stephanie!" Christian gasped, "What are YOU guys doing here?" he then looked behind Stephanie to see Ensign Angle, overloaded with equipment, "Kurt?"

    "We're no doubt here for the same thing YOU are, Ensigns. The book! Right?" Jericho said.

    "Book? What book?" Edge asked innocently.

    A voice spoke before Jericho could threaten the blonde in front of him, "Chris?"

    Jericho looked down the tunnel to see Chyna calling out to him. She was accompanied by Ensign Guerrero and Ensign Crash.

    "Oh look, the gang's all here..." Stephanie muttered dryly.

    "We were just... um..." Chyna began.

    "Looking for the book. Yeah, we know," Jericho replied.

    All three teams looked at their tricorders. They pointed the same way, "Wow! We can all share now...!" Crash said.

    They looked at him. He smiled sweetly, seeing no flaw in his logic.

    "Listen! I'm the superior officer here!" Stephanie snapped, "I should be the one to get the book!"

    "But... WE need it!" Edge said. "We have reasons. Our future fans depend on us getting that book!"

    "Oh stuff it, blondie!" Chyna snapped, "I need more strength... and the little guy here needs more height!"

    The three groups began arguing on who had the rights to the book... when finally they noticed something.

    Ensign Crash was gone.

*    *    *

KANATIAN MOUNTAINS -- A DARK CAVERN

    Crash held out his flashlight, his hand a little shaky. He heard a sound. Was someone there? No. These tunnels hadn't been used forever! This is where his tricorder had located gold. He swept his flashlight over every stone until he saw it! He placed his hand on the stone and removed it.

    There, bound in red leather, was the book!

    He heard the energizing of a phaser, "Step away from it, little man..."

    Crash spun around to come face to face with Triple H.

    "Triple H, sir! Wh...wh... what are you doing here?" Crash asked.

    "You know. Now get away from the damned book!"

    "Wait! Listen, Triple H, sir! I have an idea! If you let me get the book first, I know a way to make everyone's wishes come true! I know---"

    "SHUT UP!" Triple H snapped.

    "HUNTER?!" A voice called out. Triple H was briefly blinded by a flashlight.

    Stephanie had arrived with Ensign Angle and, "that damned Y2J Unit!"

    Behind them were the blonde brothers, and Chyna with Ensign Guerrero.

    "The book is MINE!" Triple H snapped. "I found it first!"

    "Actually... uh... I believe I found it first, Triple H sir..." Crash said.

    "I thought I told you to shut up!" he snapped, then suddenly fired the phaser at Ensign Crash, who just barely ducked it. The phaser hit the wall, blasting a hole.

       Crash quickly hid behind Chyna, who was glaring at Hunter fiercely as she stood protectively guarding her little friend, "How DARE you?!" she hissed angrily.

    "Geez! You loco, man!" Guerrero said, "That little Crash did nothing to you!"

    "What the hell crawled up YOUR butt and died, Trip?!" Jericho asked.

    "I want that book, robot!" Triple H snapped, "And I'll do what I have to to get it!" he aimed the phaser at Lt. Commander Jericho, and fired again.

    Jericho ducked it gracefully, and the phaser blasted another hole in the wall behind him.

    "Woah! Firing on Crash and Jericho is just SO not cool, man!" Christian spoke.

    "Definitely not cool at all!" Edge replied.

    "It certainly lacks integrity!" Angle added.

    Before Triple H could train his phaser on the blonde brothers and the annoying Angle, the ground began to shake.

    "You're going to cause a cave in, Hunter!" Stephanie said, "Stop it! It's not worth it! For all we know, that stupid book won't work anyway!"

    "Stay out of it, Steph," he said.

    Stephanie slowly walked up to him, hoping to talk some sense into him, "Listen, Hunter... let's go home, ok? We can talk! Does this book mean more to you then your life? Then MY life? Then EVERYONE'S lives?"

    Jericho did a quick scan of the ground. It was growing increasingly unstable in the area where Hunter, Stephanie, and the book were.

    "Helmsley! Stephanie! Move it! It's going to give way!" Jericho shouted.

    "I'm not leaving without my book!" Triple H snapped.

    Jericho carefully walked up to Stephanie and Hunter, trying not to agitate the ground even more. Triple H was a bastard, but he HAD to get him out of there... BEFORE the cave fell in on itself!

    "Come on, grab my arms. The ground is unsteady! Just hold on to me, and I'll get you guys out of there..." The Y2J Unit said.

    "How about if YOU get out of here!" Triple H shouted, and fired the phaser at Jericho once again, "I don't need your damn help!"

    Jericho rolled out of the way... and that one phaser shot was all the floor needed.

    It gave way before anyone could blink!

    Stephanie screamed as she began to fall. She closed her eyes... and waited...

    Suddenly she felt strong arms around her, catching her from behind.

    The arms pulled her to solid, steady ground... and she felt safe, and comfortable!

    Stephanie smiled. Yes! Hunter DID love her after all!

    She began to turn around, encircled in the arms of the one she loved, "Oh Hunter! You saved---" her voice caught in he throat when she saw exactly WHO it was that caught her. "J... JERICHO?!" she gasped, "But... but...!"

    Stephanie looked behind her... and saw Hunter furiously trying to rip the book from Ensign Crash's hands. The little guy was putting up quite a fight.

    Stephanie noticed a hole in the ground where the book had been.

    Tears burned at her eyes.

    Her husband had saved the book... not her.

    She looked back at The Y2J Unit, "Let me go!" she demanded angrily.

    "Calm down, Skankanie!" Jericho snapped,  then frowned, "And here I thought you were HURT!"

    "Hurt...?" she repeated. HURT wasn't the word for it, "I'm FINE!" she replied coldly, angry at Hunter. Angry at Herself. Angry at EVERYTHING.

    The Y2J Unit quickly removed his arms from her and looked at Ensign Crash, who had now won the book from Triple H's hands, thanks to a low-blow from Chyna on her selfish ex.

   Crash opened the book, and read the words aloud, "Only one with thy purest heart may use such magiks. If thou wish is not selfish, nor cruel, then thou shalt be granted it..."  Crash smiled, "Cool!" he said, then looked at the others. They looked disappointed, "Hey guys! Cheer up! I told you I got all our wishes covered!" Crash held the book to his chest, and closed his eyes, "My wish..." he started, "is that everyone...." he stopped, and glared at Triple H, "That is... everyone DESERVING..." he said, then continued, "...may have their heart's desire!"

    The cavern was silent as everyone exchanged looks.

    Nothing happened.

    Everyone's faces fell. "Oh well... " Crash shrugged, pouting, "It was worth a try..."

    Suddenly, a strong wind came up from nowhere. Everyone was blown backwards, and the book fell from Crash's hands.

    Before Triple H could greedily pick it up, it fell over the edge of the chasm that had been formed a few minutes ago.

    "DAMNIT!" Triple H shouted, "Damnit damnit damnit!" he threw his phaser on the ground, and shattered it with the sole of his boot, then walked angrily back through the tunnels.

    Stephanie quickly ran after him.

    Everyone took a moment to reflect on what had just happened. The Titanprize would be waiting... and no doubt Captain McMahon would be wondering.

    An agreement was made. No one would speak of the events that happened here. No one would mention Triple H's unorthodox behaviour. It was the only way to keep peace aboard the ship, what with Ensign Helmsley being married to Stephanie and all.

    If asked, the group would simply explain that their adventure was all for naught. Besides, the book didn't work, and no one had their heart's desire. They just had aching feet, and dust in their lungs.

    One by one, everyone ducked back through the tunnel.

    Oddly enough, Crash himself had to duck as well.

    Funny... Chyna didn't recall him having to do that earlier...

    "Crash... did you ...? Chyna started, then stopped, furrowing her brow.

    "Did I what?" Ensign Crash asked.

    Chyna shook her head, and smiled, "Never mind..." she took his hand, "Let's just get out of here..."