SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE WWF TITANPRIZE. IT'S MISSION: TO EXPLORE AND ENTERTAIN NEW SOCIETIES AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS.  TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO WRESTLER HAS GONE BEFORE!

TITANPRIZE CREW:
Captain Vincent K. McMahon
First Officer, Commander Shane McMahon
Chief Engineer, Commander Stephanie McMahon
Chief of Chiefs, Commander Linda McMahon
Chief of Security, Commander Kane
Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Taker
Communications Officer, Lieutenant Rock
Counselor Al Snow (assisted by H.E.A.D.)
Diagnostics Officer, Ensign Jericho
Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Commander Austin
... And many more!
 

STARSHIP TITANPRIZE

    "Acting Captain's log, stardate 11.22.33. Pops has been captured by the PTC, and assimilated. Russo is breathing down our necks demanding to speak to pops.... and I have no clue how to run this ship..." Commander Shane McMahon paused as the computer recorded his log. "Uh... computer strike those last 10 words from the log..."

    "Last 10 words deleted... " the computer confirmed.

   "Thanks..." Shane replied, "End log."

   With that, he headed out onto the bridge.

   "McMahon is playing games with me. I don't like it!" Captain Russo began, addressing his crew, "Scan the Titanprize. Tell me if the Captain is even on board!"

   "Scanning... BANG!" Ensign Page replied, "I scanned it 3 time, 3 time, 3 time, sir! No sign of Captain SCUM McMahon at ALL! Just his scumy son."

   "I knew it!!" Russo replied angrily, then muttered, "So... where the hell IS McMahon then?!"

STARSHIP TITANPRIZE

   "Pops! It's me! Shane! Your son!!" Shane begged the emotionless automaton on the screen in front of him.

   "Pops is not my designation..." the former Captain McMahon replied, "My designation is Bozell of PTC!"

   "But pops!!" Shane pleaded.

  "Sir..." Counselor Snow began quietly, "H.E.A.D. says you won't be able to get through to him. Maybe if he was on-board the Titanprize where H.E.A.D. and I could thoroughly examine his mental state---"

   "You're right, Mr. Snow!" Shane said, then turned to the Chief of security, "Mr. Kane... get an away team together!! We're going to bring my pops back!!"

   Commander Kane walked quietly along the corridors of  the PTC cube ship, phaser in hand. Lieutenant Commander Austin, Lieutenant Debra, and Ensign Jacquie followed.

   As they walked, the PTC drones seemed to ignore them. "We have yet to swear or do anything that would bring attention to ourselves," Jacquie explained, "Right now, they don't see us as a threat..."

   "Where is Captain McMahon!" Austin demanded.

   Jacquie checked her tricorder, "I'm picking up his readings along this next corridor," The away team quickly headed left.

   As they turned the corner, they saw their assimilated Captain... surrounded by several PTC drones.

   "We have to get that stupid bastard!"Austin said, and quickly raised his stunner.

   "No, Steve..." Debra replied quickly, and pushed his hand back to his side, "You know our weapons don't work very well on them. Once you fire, they'll adapt and the rest of the drones will be alerted to our presence!"

   "So what do you think we should do then, Deb?!" Austin asked.

   Debra smiled, "Stay here. I'll distract them... then YOU grab McMahon!"

   Debra walked up to the PTC drones... and slowly began undoing her uniform.

   "DEBRA!" Austin shouted.

   The PTC drones paid no attention to Austin. Their attention was now focused on the woman willing to show her puppies, "Nudity is evil!" the many voices of the PTC said.

   "Maybe..." Lt. Debra replied, "But you're waiting with baited breath to see how far I'll go!"

   "Waiting is irrelevant. Nudity is evil!" The PTC repeated. But even as they did so, the drones moved away from Captain McMahon, and headed towards Debra.

   "NOW!" Debra commanded.

   Commander Kane, Lieutenant Commander Austin, and Ensign Jacquie quickly grabbed Captain McMahon.

   "I am Bozell of PTC!!! You will be assimilated!!" the Captain shouted.

   "Shut up! You're pathetic!" Austin replied, and hit McMahon with his stunner. The former Captain was out cold. Austin tapped his comm badge, "Austin to Titanprize... 5 to beam out!"

    Debra had yet to redo the top of her uniform... and Commander Kane was eyeing her with great confusion and interest.  "Uh, SIR?" Jacquie spoke up. Kane quickly turned away, and nodded to her, "Titanprize, beam us up!" she spoke into her comm, and the group quickly vanished from the deck of the PTC cube ship.

   "Hey, Russo man!" Page began, "Sensors indicate that Captain SCUM McMahon has beamed aboard the Titanprize... from the PTC Cube ship!!"

   "What??!" Russo replied, "What the hell was he doing there?! Hmm... I'll have to have a few words with Mr. McMahon!"

   Captain McMahon - Bozell of PTC - stood in an isolation tube as Dr. Taker studied him, "Hmmm... interesting..." he muttered to himself.

   Counselor Snow seemed to be discussing the situation with H.E.A.D.

   "I am Bozell of PTC! You will be assimilated---"

   "Did I already tell you to shut up, ya silly bastard?" Austin interrupted.

   "Swearing is evil---" Bozell of PTC spoke.

   "Yeah... whatever!" Austin replied.

    "I am Bozell of PTC... and Captain Vincent K. McMahon," Bozell/McMahon began in an unemotional and cold voice, "My orders are as follows - Swearing will be censored. Sexual references will be deleted. Scantily clad valets will wear potato sacks.  If you fail to comply, you will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."

   "Taker, can you shut his mouth?" Austin asked.

   Dr. Taker took a careful look at the Captain, "I cannot shut him up, but I can remove the cybernetic implants the PTC have attached to him. It will take a while..." with that, Dr. Taker quickly grabbed a scalpel. His eyes glinted with a disturbing satanic joy as he set about his task.

   The cold interior of the PTC Cube ship filled the Titanprize's viewscreen, "We demand you return Bozell of PTC to us!"

   "Forget it!" Shane replied, "No one is gonna take my pops!"

   "Resistance is futile.  We will use force..."

   "Shields on full, red alert!" Shane commanded to his crew, then turned back to the viewscreen, "Just try it! Go on!! Try it!!"

  The ship shook violently with an energy blast from the PTC ship.

   "They DID it!!" Shane replied, shocked, "They actually FIRED on us!" He turned to Lieutenant Rock, "Hail the Thunder! We're under attack!"

   "Those candy asses on the WCW Thunder aren't answering the Rock's hails!" Rock replied.

   "Damnit!! Can't they see we're under attack here!" Shane replied, then saw the PTC aim their weapons at the Thunder, and fire. Shane laughed, "Losers!"

   "That jabroni, Captain Russo, is hailing THE ROCK now!" Rock announced.

   "On screen!!" Shane commanded.

   Russo's big head appeared on screen again, "Where the hell is Captain McMahon? Why did our sensors find him beaming from the PTC cube ship to the Titanprize? What the hell is going on here!"

   "We're under attack, Captain Russo!!" Shane replied, "Let's leave the questions until later!! Right now, we have to work together!!"

  "Message coming in from ECW Extremeship..." Rock said.

   "Split screen, Mr. Rock..."

   Captain Heyman appeared on screen beside Captain Russo, "Commander McMahon... it appears the three of us are going to have to pull our resources and work together to eliminate this threat," Heyman said.

   "Yes sir! We're going to need back up. Let's hope we can hold off the PTC until we find some!" Shane replied.

  "Understood! Heyman out!" Captain Heyman's face disappeared from the screen.

   "I'll see what I can find too... Russo out!" Russo's big head disappeared as well.

   "Mr. Rock..." Shane addressed his communications officer, "Send a message and our coordinates on all known WrestleFleet frequencies to any Independent WrestleFleet ships out there!"

   "What should the message say...?" Rock asked.

   Shane thought a moment, and said the first thing that came to mind, "HELP!!!!"

   "Hey, Al... do you think the bastard has any luck regaining his original personality?"  Austin asked.

   "H.E.A.D. says it is possible... but his brain will need reprogramming!" Counselor Snow replied, then tapped his comm badge, "Snow to Ensign Jericho. We may need your help down here..."
 
 

SPACE

   3 hours later, several independent WrestleFleet ships joined the Titanprize, Extremeship, and Thunder in the battle against the PTC.

   Unfortunately, they would fail miserably

   The cybernetic components had finally been removed from Captain McMahon, with the exception of his link to the PTC Collective.

   Ensign Jericho plugged into McMahon's brain, and slowly began to disconnect the computerized implant that allowed the collective to access him. It was increasingly difficult as the PTC's attack continued.

   The Titanprize was trying to fight back, but it's shields were barely holding.

  There was only one thing left to do. The Y2J Unit would have to send his own special message to the collective.

   Shane McMahon swore under his breath. The Titanprize's torpedoes and phasers were useless against an enemy that could compensate after one hit.

   The commander had to get rid of the PTC ship, and fast.  He had to save the others. There was only one thing to do... "Commander Shane McMahon to Captain Russo andf Captain Heyman. We have to ram the PTC ship!"

   "WHAT?!" Russo replied. "You want us to go on a suicide mission?!"

  "It's the only way! Or else we're ALL going to die!" Shane replied.

  "Extremeship to Titanprize..." Captain Heyman began, "A member of our crew just volunteered to take a shuttlecraft to the PTC ship. His name is Sabu..."

   Ensign Jericho smiled as he sent his message to the PTC cube ship.

    Finally, the damaged WrestleFleet ships would have time to repair themselves, and the PTC would leave in peace - for now.

   The cube ship on the viewscreen suddenly ceased firing, "What...??" Shane asked, surprised. "It just... STOPPED?"

   The cube ship slowly began backing away. It gracefully turned around... and disappeared at warp speed.

   Shane smiled, "I guess we scared it off!"

   "Not quite, sir..." Ensign Jericho began as he arrived on the Bridge from the Turbolift "I sent them a message. Once they received it, they quickly broke off their attack and left..."

   "What message did you SEND them, Ensign?" Shane asked.

    "Simple. I told them that the inhabitants of the planet Moesha said the word 'ass'..." Jericho replied happily.

   "But... Planet Moesha is an uninhabited Planet in the delta quadrant!" Shane replied.

   Jericho smiled, "I know..."

   "Think the silly bastard is back to normal yet?" Austin asked Jericho as they sat at a table in the Smackdown.

   Before Jericho could answer, a loud voice boomed throughout the bar, "Damn the PTC! I GUARANTEE they will PAY for what they did to me!"

   Jericho turned towards the bar to see Captain McMahon loudly expressing his opinion of the PTC to his son, Shane. In the Captain's hand was a sledgehammer.

   "Pops! Calm down!! The PTC isn't here! Give me the sledgehammer, pops... GIVE IT TO ME!" Shane demanded.

   Jericho and Austin watched as Shane tried to grab the sledgehammer from his irate father.

   Y2J turned to Austin,  "Looks pretty normal to me..."

    PLANET: 456743

    STATUS: Already Assimilated

    COURSE OF ACTION: Return to last known coordinates of the WWF Titanprize