The Redundant Life of El Pathetico

This is the story of a man...

a man, who dreamed of more...

*cue flamenco guitar*

There's a new superhero in town

El Pathetico he calls himself

everyone think's he's just a clown,

there's no trophies on his shelf

and his name...is El Pathetico

please make way...for El Pathetico

watch the news and see his face

he looks awfully out of place...

Then one day he hears the scream

Pretty Rosa's been abducted

to the rescue: football team!

All Pathetico's plans disrupted

And he places his head in his hands

and cries of his life

how he'll never own these lands

never find a wife.

All he wanted was to be somebody's hero

but no one needs his aid

everyone who knows him thinks he is a zero

but that's just how the game is played...