Those who know me call me insane, and for a good reason too. But insanity gives you some good poetry! ^_^ Blah. Just kidding. Anyway, here are a few of my poems.
NOTE: I've started adding the newest poems at the top...but they're really out of order. Sorry about that...though it probably doesn't matter to you. The poems have numbers on them, despite the fact that some of them have proper titles, just to make it easier for myself and other people to find certain poems. Also--I chose to have my poems aligned to the left, not the center, so that you can read them the way I wrote them. The computer did mess up the spacing a bit...oh well. Here are my poems:
#1
Memories of Heartbreak
Waves pull me into the ocean of shadows
falling, falling
Dashing against the cruel sharp rocks
bleeding, bleeding
Twirling into a whirlpool, into oblivion
drowning, drowning
Life passing before my eyes, then smothering black
dying, dying
#2
Despair
I feel so alone.
I feel like no one in the world cares that I exist
Except one
or two.
Everyone just thinks of me
as
the smart girl
the sister
the daughter
the show-off nerd who never has fun.
I'm stuck here in
My little corner of the universe
Doomed to do nothing but
watch the other people,
Having a great time,
Not caring about other things.
Sometimes
I wish I could be that way,
But I can't
Because
I care.
I need to be me.
Why can't they see that?
If I had my way, I'd be
so different.
No one would recognize me,
And if they did,
Would rejoice with me about
finding myself.
They see me there
That girl on the bus
with the glasses
and the hair
Writing a poem,
Reading a thick book,
Listening to music no one else likes.
They avoid her,
And thus are unaware of her
Laughing and boisterous
While she wipes away her tears.
Why is it me?
Why does no one else seem to feel this way?
I know they must,
But I can't see it.
I hate this.
I can't do anything about it.
So I sit here
screaming,
crying
inside my head
As I ponder my
past,
present,
and future
Alone.
#3
It’s near the end of the day
Everyone’s talking, laughing
Except me.
You see, I’m there
Physically
But in my mind, I’m
Running in an endless green field,
Chasing the waxen moon,
And the silvery stars
Until the glowing sun rises again
In a sky of ethereal blue.
I am the heroine.
I am making it all right for everyone.
I am destroying the evil
To make this magical land
perfect
Though how it could be any more perfect,
no one knows.
I have amazing friends in this land,
And few enemies.
People don’t care about my looks,
Or their first impressions.
I’m captivating,
alluring,
and completely mystifying.
I’m one with the forests,
with the mountains,
with the rivers.
And I stumble up a hill
Climbing,
climbing,
Until I reach the grassy pinnacle.
There I can see the whole land surrounding me,
Stretching out,
Endless.
For this is my land,
My special land.
I cherish it
and embrace it.
It is my Paradise,
my haven,
my special place.
It is my imagination.
#4
It's been one whole year
Since I looked at you
And thought:
"I want you
I need you
We have to be together."
And for months afterwards
I lived in another world
Alternating between
bliss
and confusion.
Then there was one night
one glorious night in the spring
When we danced, and I thought
You wanted me
You needed me
And we were together.
What I wasn't prepared for
Was the pain that followed.
Whenever
Wherever
I saw you, I was incredibly happy
and sad.
Nothing else happened.
I pondered:
"Do I want you?
Do I need you?
Do we have to be together?"
Over the summer
My feelings blew away
I made my decision.
Then
Another night came up,
In the fall this time.
We danced
And as we held each other close,
I knew
"I don't want you
I don't need you
We aren't and won't
be together."
#5
I want to cry
Let it all out
Let go of all this pain
Let my tears come rolling down
My cheeks
Like gentle rain
I don't care if someone sees me
I don't care if I'm alone
Leave or stay
Smile or frown
Live or die...
I want to cry.
#6
This is my island.
The is where I live day after day,
Banished to this place of desolation
This place of anger
and tears.
No one wants to come to this island.
No one wants to come see me.
No one wants to know if I'm there or not.
No one cares.
I stay here all the time,
Surrounded by an endless sea.
I wish I could leave this island.
Or is it them on the island?
Their private, exclusive island?
Afraid of intruders and
letting in few?
They're oblivious to all around them
And they choose to be oblivious.
They choose to be this way.
Why do I want to be on that island?
#7
Open the lid
Stare at the page
Prepare myself to travel.
Then
I let my fingers fly over the keys
Unlocking the door to a distant land.
It is
The land of laughter
The land of dull pain
The land of tears and sorrows
The land of fury
The land of changing emotions.
I can escape to this place
Let my feelings subside
Or come out in the picture I'm painting.
This is my land.
I can choose to share it
Or keep it all to myself
As a selfish child.
I can decide where I will travel
Far-off, or near.
I am capable of anything in this land.
And this land
will never
die.
Then my finger motions cease.
The book closes.
The lid falls.
Locking the door to
music.
#8
I wait for inspiration
For my words to pour out like a waterfall
For a candle to burst into flame in my mind
For a new life to form in the shape of writing.
I wait for inspiration
For emotions to tumble straight out of my mind
For my tears to be bottled up in a piece of paper
For laughter to be captured in handwritten lines.
I wait for inspiration
For a picture to be painted using colours of words
For my life to be drawn out letter by letter
For death to be conquered by the light of the pen.
I wait for inspiration
For it to come to me in the middle of the night
For it to come to make me overwhelmed
For it to come to me so I can write.
#9
It's okay to smile
It's okay to laugh
It's okay to care.
It's okay for my heart to be leaping
for my soul to be pulled out of the shadows
for my face to show my expressions.
It's okay to come out of my shell sometimes.
It's okay to be loud.
It's okay to be stupid.
It's okay to be singing in my mind.
It's okay to smile at what no one else knows.
It's okay to be weird,
crazy,
insane.
It's okay to talk the way I do,
act the way I do,
think the way I do.
It's okay to let my true self shine through.
It's okay to be me.
#10
I built a dam
Inside my head
Attempting to block this river of pain
and confusion.
The river was cold,
biting,
Trying to drown the sweet warmth of love.
Life continued.
My dam stayed strong.
Suddenly,
there came a storm,
insignificant to all but me.
And my dam burst,
And the river started to flow again.
So now it is still running,
coursing,
roaring,
trying to sweep away all in its path.
I will stop it.
I won't give in.
I will seek a cure, seek where I may find it,
And barricade this river once
and for all.
Once I find that cure,
the river will be forced to succumb
to warmth.
Now
Where is the cure?
#11
How can you miss what you never had?
How can you wish for what you've never known?
How can one glance
one touch
one smile hurt you so?
How can you be so different
and so alike?
How can you dislike
and love?
How can you look for what was never lost?
How can it be the end
the beginning
the during
all at once?
How can you cry for no reason?
How can your mind be tearing apart?
How can you end up with a shattered heart?
How can you touch the stars
see the sky's reach
smell the tree's age
taste the wind's flavour
hear the angel's wings?
How can you live and die
be hot and cold
feel sad and happy
at the same time?
How can you live in a dream?
#12
It is
An indescribable feeling
To know
you are not
alone.
To know
You're not going through it by yourself.
Someone's there.
Nothing is alike
in life.
It's all different.
But somewhere you find someone the
same.
Who knows how it feels
to have a bleeding heart.
Who knows how it feels
to have a screaming mind.
Who knows how it feels
to have a soul immersed in shadows.
Who knows.
Who cares.
The feelings tumble
Like water over rocks.
It will not collapse.
It may all be in foolishness...
but it's not.
#13
Thunderstorm
The light is over, and the peace is done
As the thick, dark masses consume the bright sun.
The clouds have turned to a sinister grey,
Bringing gloom to the hillside and night to the day.
The raindrops start falling
Their splashes like calling
Out to the sky for sending them down.
The people all hurry to find themselves shelter
The animals scurry and dash helter-skelter.
Any light has vanished and the world is in shade
As if a great monster has come to invade.
The lightning does flash!
The thunder does crash!
Crying out to each other their plan of assail.
The wind blows wildly in the doubled-over trees,
The rain comes in torrents as if on the seas.
The rumbles and flares still battle harshly
The grass has been torn so it is only there partially.
Then cruel lightning’s gaze
Sets the woodlands ablaze
Destroying the homes of good people and more.
Man-made and natural water attacks,
Stopping the inferno right in its tracks.
The thunder and lightning begin to cease,
The quarreling wind and the woods appease.
Then suddenly, near,
An arc appears,
Bringing to the world back to its original peace.
#14
The most intriguing things can’t be put into words,
The blue of the sky and the song of the birds,
The silvery moon and the rays of the sun,
The colours of twilight when the day is done,
The shadows of a storm and the shade of the rain,
The beautiful rainbow when peace comes again,
The melodies of music, the sound of a voice,
The brain-numbing ache when deciding on a choice,
The cruel bite of pain, the fall of a tear,
The suffering of tragedies, the heart-pumping fear,
The warm strength of faith, the power of dreams,
The knowledge that not everything is what it seems,
The feel of a hug, the touch of a kiss,
The everlasting love the no one can miss,
The loving of families, the greatness of friends,
The peaceful day’s joy that never really ends,
Courage, inspiration, peace, hope, and love,
All of these things were sent from above.
#15
Or is it just me?
Sometimes I feel
A cold that just won't go away
Or is it just me?
Sometimes I feel
Like you're always turning away
Or is it just me?
Sometimes I feel
Like you aren't the friends for me
Why do I feel that way?
Sometimes I feel
Like I don't belong here
Or is it just me?
*Interlude*
Sometimes I feel
Like I just want to lie
By the ocean
Sometimes I feel
Like I want to run
Through a field
Sometimes I feel
Like I want to walk through
The forest
Sometimes I feel
Like I need to get away
From here
Sometimes I feel
Like I should be
Packing my bags
Sometimes I feel
Like I should be
Saying goodbye
Sometimes I feel
Like I should be stumbling
Down the road
Sometimes I feel
Like I should be screaming
At the top of my lungs
Sometimes I feel
Like I want to be all alone
Or is it just me?
Sometimes I feel
Like I want to be with others
Or is it just me?
Sometimes I feel
Like I am alone in the world
Why do I feel this way?
Sometimes I feel
Like I am just
SHUNNED
Or is it just
me?
#16
Sitting here
By myself
I chose to be alone
It's like a wall
built around
me.
Blocking people out.
An invisible shield.
And now
my
wish
is
to
demolish
that wall.
Let people in around me.
To include
and be included.
Not exclude
not to be excluded.
People have
to talk to me.
Find out the person I am.
It's true
Sometimes you have to
Keep your distance.
But if you just talked to me
Not meanly
Not patronizing
Kind
Sincere
I'll let you in.
You let me in.
#17
One tear.
Sadness
Happiness
Frustration
Angriness
Confusion.
It may be
Alone.
It may be
Followed.
But the
first tear
Always shows
Emotions are
Rumbling and
tumbling
Inside the head.
#18
An empty page
Blank.
Possiblities are
everywhere.
How can one choose?
Yet I do.
Inspiration starts to
leak
flow
pour.
The pen brings life
to the dead.
Emotions
Opinions
Fact.
It can all be there
Not at once
But whatever it is will be
Unique.
It won't be perfect.
Nothing is.
But we can reflect.
The writing conveys
Feelings
Thoughts.
It will all be
Written on
The creator of life in words.
An empty page.
#19
I sit here
People on either side.
Yet I am
All alone.
So many conversations
None with me.
Thoughts running through my head.
Tears coming to my eye.
A scream building in my throat.
But I can't
Let any
Escape.
I can't show emotions.
I am an expressionless
stone.
They can ask me questions
Talk to me.
But what's inside of them
Won't come out.
Because they don't want to let me know
I'm invisible
Deaf
Blind
Mute.
So I'm not here.
Even though I am.
Don't pay any attention to me.
Please do.
#20
Do you ever
Look back on
The times we shared?
Do you ever
Remember
Our similarities?
Do you ever
Smile about
Those times we laughed until we cried?
Do you ever
Frown about
The way we barely talk to each other?
Do you ever
Pull out
Our correspondences?
Do you ever
Think about
The way we were then?
Do you ever
Wish
That we were friends again?
#21
We're sitting, talking.
Everything's fine.
On the outside.
It's different inside.
The sun is shining, yet I'm freezing cold.
I'm smiling, but I'm not happy.
I'm awake, and dreaming.
When we're together, I see
The boundaries of the oceans
The end of the rainbow
The life of the wind
And I know why we're here.
But then you look at me,
Then look away,
And the feeling ends.
What I'd give
To keep that feeling.
But
I'm living in a dream.
#22
It's over.
It's done.
It's through.
Did I ever?
Truly?
I say these words to myself.
Wishing
Hoping
Pleading
They aren't true.
This isn't happening.
It never happened.
It will never happen again.
Now I'm dying
Falling
Bleeding
Until I think
My heart
Will stop.
And all I can do is
Wait
For the new day.
#23
If I was something else, I'd be a flower.
Not a beautiful rose,
Exuberant tulip,
Life-loving daisy,
But a morning glory,
Living life for but the shortest hours.
I come to live
And fade away,
Only by the light of the sun.
Fragile and falling apart
By one touch, and
Brought to my death.
Then the next day
Something new.
#24
Over time
Lots of time
Changes happen.
Looks
Personality
Lifestyle.
And the worst thing of all is
You can't
Stop them.
But there's good in them still
Waiting
For those changes to happen.
The suspense
For you can never tell
Will it be
good?
Will it be
bad?
And sometimes
Just sometimes
The nature of the change will be
transformed.
You can spend your whole life
Avoiding changes
Waiting for changes
or
Changing.
#25
They don't know
How their words are like knives
Stabbing into my heart.
They don't know
How what they think
Always contradicts me.
They don't know
How much I'm crying
Just inside my head.
They don't know
How I remember
When things were different.
They don't know
How I'm longing so much
To keep their painful words quiet.
They don't know
How much I wish
I could just move on from all of this.
They don't know
How hard I'm running
Far, far away from here.
But it's not their fault.
They don't know.