Update! There is a new Internet Adventure up, and some brilliant new Reviews too. Lucky you.

I would like to announce a new web site that is sure to change the internet forever. Duckfish.com is the official web site for the upcoming comic written by my friends and me. There's nothing there right now, but go bookmark it and then check back regularly. In the meantime, go here and read this wonderful poem that I found.



Duck. Fish.

In other web news, I recently found out that a large number of visitors come to this site through Google. How? By searching for the words "four nipples" (see the about me section. So, if you're here from Google, welcome to my homepage, you fucking pervert.

I've noticed that I'm swearing a lot more lately. Normally I don't swear very much, but lately I've been cussing like a sailor. Maybe it's the warm weather...bringing out my testosterone or something. On the other end of the spectrum, I've had the new 'N Sync song, Pop, stuck in my head for two days now. If I didn't like the song so much, I'd ridicule it by calling it "Poop." Haha I'm so witty!

New homepage stuff! The About Me and FAQ sections have been updated. I've also added a list of bands that I've seen live to the Music section, for my own amusement. Wow, I didn't realize how much of my life I've spent at concerts, and the list isn't even complete yet.

I have a new email address! Well actually, I always had it, but I never knew I had it until now. The address is (anything)@phronk.com. So, you can just type whatever you want before the "@phronk.com", and it will get to me. For example, sending a message to "lkj;dflkajsdk@phronk.com" will work. So will "fuckyoumike@phronk.com". Anything at all. Try it out...it's fun.

My phronk@hotmail.com email address still works too...it all goes to the same place.

Hi.

First, I want to thank two people: Meagan, and Rob, who both told me about this Blogger thing. Thanks.

I've been talking about raccoons a lot lately, so the story that's been on the front page of the London Free Press for the last few days really caught my attention. Apparently a roofer was working on a roof, and came across a raccoon. He then beat it with a hammer and dropped it off in a dump far away, leaving its four babies with no mother. He said he did it because a raccoon had bitten him a few years ago. Now, obviously, this pisses me off. Raccoons are smart animals...as smart as some primates...and personally I think killing a raccoon is almost as bad as murder (if not just as bad). Also, if this guy can do that to a raccoon, what's stopping him from doing it to a person? He better spend some time in jail.

This reminds me of a story I heard in the news a few years ago. Some teenagers in a pickup truck were driving along, and were seen throwing a puppy out of the window. A witness heard them say "bounce, baby, bounce" as they drove away. GRRR. Whenever I need to make myself angry (e.g. when working out, to give me a little boost of energy), I just think of that, and I'm angry.

I had a weird dream last night. First I was in an electronics store watching movies on a HUGE television. Then I heard screams coming from down the road. Suddenly I was inside an episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Since I'd seen the episode I was in, I knew that the screams were because Dawn (Buffy's little sister) had just died. So, me and Xander (who was now watching movies with me) went running to Buffy's house, where the screams were coming from. Willow was standing outside, and she was quite upset. She started explaining to us what happened, but I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying because she was too cute! I kept thinking "wow, she's even better looking in real life than on TV." The dream ended as I stood there drooling while she explained how Dawn had been eaten by a monster or something.

About the raccoons in my yard...I haven't seen any of them in two days. I'm really hoping that the mother came back and found them. That's what I'll choose to believe, because other possibilities are too depressing.

Weird things have been going on in my backyard lately. First, all of the fish in my pond were killed or eaten by a big-ass bird. He's attacked the fish before, but usually he only kills one or two. That was sad. Then, looking behind a bush beside the pond, I found three baby raccoons! They're the cutest things in the world...they're so small that they can barely walk, but they make little chirping noises and bite each other's tails. Unfortunately, their mother is probably far away. Our next door neighbour had caught an adult raccoon 3 days earlier (because it was trying to eat his pets) and took it to a forest a few blocks away. That was probably the mother. Either that, or that big-ass bird ate the mother. Either way, she's gone, and we don't know what to do. Yesterday, only one baby was still in the area, and I haven't seen any of them today. I hope that their mother finds them, or they learn to survive on their own.



Here's a raccoon eating Apple Jacks.

I had a fun dream last night. I was in a hospital, wearing a hospital gown, even though I wasn't sick. Several other people were there too, and they weren't sick either. I wandered around for a while, trying to find out what was going on. Eventually I found that my family was there too. I asked my dad what was going on, and after questioning him for a while, I found out that he had put us all in the hospital so they could do experiments on us. I asked him "don't you think that's kinda immoral? Subjecting your family to secret experiments?" He then explained to me that he would be getting a LOT of money for letting them use his family. So I was like "oh, that's cool then. Yay, we're gonna be rich!" After a few days, I took part in the first "experiment." I was dressed up in a tuxedo, then put in a room with a bunch of other guys in tuxedos. In the room was a big-ass television with a video camera on top. The television showed what was being recorded by the camera. Apparently it was a "beauty contest", and we all had to look good for the camera, because we would be judged later (this part probably comes from the fact that I was at HotOrNot right before I went to bed, judging people on how hot they are). I thought it was pretty stupid, so I just stood there doing nothing. I think that's where the dream ended. I never found out if I won the beauty contest, but I hope I did. :)

Oh, and Moulin Rouge was really good. Obi-Wan sure can sing! And Nicole Kidman's nose looks weird when you see it up close. I dunno...just something about those nostrils.

Yesterday, I spent all my money and bought the Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon DVD, as well as Radiohead's new album, Amnesiac. I love buying DVDs. It's just so nice to put it there, between Charlie's Angels and Dark City, and realize that my beautiful pile of DVDs is now an inch thicker. Oh, and watching them is fun too.

Yay, I finally got this Blog working! It should now be embedded on my homepage, and should soon replace my "Thing of the Day" (or TOTD, as my biggest fans call it.)

So anyway, I'm probably gonna go see Moulin Rouge today. I think Baz Luhrmann's version of Romeo and Juliet was damn cool, so I'm looking forward to Moulin Rouge. I'll be sure to ramble about what I thought of it after I see it. Oh, and I pronounce it "moo-lon" rouge. I don't put on some fake French accent every time I say the title of the movie. Besides, it's pronounced that way in the trailer, so that's how it was meant to be said. Eat that.

Hey, let's see if pictures work here!

Ok, so I'm gonna be an exhibitionist and write all my deepest, most personal thoughts here every day (approximately). I bet nobody's gonna read this, but at least it's fun for me.

So, what should I write about today? Well I woke up to find a horrible rash on my balls this morning, and it itches like hell. Haha just kidding. But seriously, I do kinda have a rash on my shoulder. You see, a few days ago I noticed some nasty ugly shoulder hair growing there. I decided to try getting rid of it, so I borrowed some "cold wax" stuff from my sister. Let me give you some advice: never use Nair cold wax shit. It's this big strip that you put on your skin, then immediately rip off. It's like the world's biggest band-aid, except instead of helping your skin heal, it actually rips your skin off. Oh, and it only rips skin off, not hair. So you're left with a bleeding, hairy mess.

Ok that's enough for today. Was that personal enough for you? Good. Now go away.

Where am I? What's going on? I'm so confused. Will you hold me?