Deep Inside of You

Disclaimers: Don't own the guys or the song.
Warnings: Introspective angst.

"Deep Inside Of You"-A fic by The Maxwell K. Yotan

The snow is falling again, despite it being May. It seems like it's
not going to stop. The whole town is going to be blanketed with it.
It's going to kill me to see it. I want it to melt.

//When we met light was shed
Thoughts free flow you said you've got something
Deep inside of you
A wind chime voice sound, sway of your hips round rings true
It goes deep inside of you //

It reminds me of a Sunday morning that I met you for coffee. I don't
want to think of that morning. I don't want to think about the
emotions that it brings up. I didn't know it at the time, but that
was when I ever so softly and delicately got torn apart by you.

//These secret garden beams, changed my life so it seems
Fall breeze blows outside, I don't break stride
My thoughts are warm
And they go deep inside of you
And I never felt alone, 'till I met you//

It was a lulling sense of security, that I felt that day. I should
have knonw that things were too good to last. I never have luck on
Sundays. I sleep through them. I don't do anything on them. There's
too much of a chance that things will go wrong for me.

//Friends say I've changed, I don't listen 'cause I live to be
Deep inside of you
Slide of her dress, shouts in darkness, I'm so alive
I'm deep inside of you
You said boy make girl feel good
But still, deep inside, still//

It was just a dream that I happened to get caught in the middle of.
It was too good to last. I was like Icarus, reaching too far and too
high.

I did nothing except melt my wax wings and now I'm hurtling into the
sea.

It should hurt, but As I fall, I'm grateful for the coolness that the
water will bring.

I won't fall with my eyes closed. Maybe the blue of the water will
wipe away the memory of that wet snow, warm coffee and dark brown
eyes.

//I've never felt alone
'Till I met you
I'm all right on my own
And then I met you//

Yeah. I can stop thinking about you. I can't stop feeling alone,
despite having a warm body sleeping next to mine. I feel like I am
being consumed whole by your memory. It haunts me every night. It
haunts me in the far reaches of sleep.

I don't know, whether I want to be entangled in you, or left alone by
you.

//And I'd know what to do if I just knew what's coming
I would change myself if I could
I'd walk with my people if I could find them
And I'd say that I'm sorry to you
I'm sorry to you//

It wasn't as if you wanted to have me like this. It wasn't as if it
was all in a great master plan for you. You just were there...I don't
know why this happened as it did. I don't know how I can go back and
fix everything that happened there.

I wonder if that place will ever be a normal spot without bitterness
anymore.

I want to go back and say those words to you..but I am bound both by
distance and by time..so I remain mute.

//And I don't want to call you
But then I want to call you 'cause I don't want to crush you
But I feel like crushing you
And it's true I took for granted you were with me
I breathe by your looks and you look right through me//

It's just a petty human state I've fallen in. I know that it will
soon pass. That eventually I won't feel so raw and so bitter when I
see the snow in the Spring. Or when I go to that place and sit at
that spot and breathe the smoke laden air. I won't think about the
brown eyes or the accent when I talk to someone else like you. Or
maybe when I eventually will talk to you.

//Something's gone, you withdraw and I'm not strong like before I was
Deep inside of you
I can go nowhere
I burn candles and stare at a ghost
Deep inside of you
And some great need in me starts to bleed
I've lost myself there's nothing left, it's all gone//

I have to shake my head and look forward to another day. Look forward
to taking responsibilities and burying everything in the past. You
aren't the first to have gotten this far and chances are you won't be
the last.

It's the human condition to feel like this..Just like it's the human
condition for me to carry a piece of you..within me.

//Deep inside of you
Deep inside of you
Deep inside of you//

I just can only hope that you can carry a small piece of me.
Somewhere deep inside..

END.