ChapFour

Anyways like I said, I brought you down some hot gear! Here's a little something for you Monkey. >E}-)) And this too! And Space! I think you'll like this one. It makes a great pet, and you can walk anywhere in NYC without a baseball bat, and I wouldn't even bother with the stoop and scoop the poop laws!!! And this one followed me back cause it heard you were into pyro. It's name is L'il Huscroft! HAHA And this is yours too! And for being soooo patient Space Monkey, and just keeping your language to a 'PG' rating, I've found this caught in the roof trying to get out, but I told it about you and it wanted to check you out, so here it is.... And this one is a barrel full of monkeys, like it's funny and you could win cool stuff too!!!
And you get one of these too!! ;-)

Now I didn't forget you GG, I wouldn't dare! This one's real handy and very sturdy! And on a busy night, you can use this! And of course you have to have one of these too... I'm sorry I missed you Dark and Heartsy, and I'll get you some gear right away! And if cheekygirl is looking for something to do or wants to be a regular customer, I can get some more gear printed up! LOL
So it's Great to see you all again and now WHERE'S MARTHA??? TURN UP THE VOLUME! Oh, I guess we better go back to the tavern...

thedarkone: OK that banana is just plain disturbing and theres just no excuse for it! But I would have let ya slide if only I would have gotten my own cool shirt... But nooooo that alright, that's ok, don't worry about me I'll be alright.... Boy I'm glad I didn't jump outta that cake sheesh!

thedemonsmonkey: WOW! I love alla gifts you brought back GZ! And Diner T-Shirts, personalized no less!!! THANKYOU! :-) And THANKYOU TOO HEARTSY! You were Great! So you're the New Program Director! Wonderful! :-) Oh, I think I lost Thedarkbusboy on another thread, you'll hafta get him a shirt too Grey, yea, I hired him while you were away! ;-)
Oh there you are Dark, I was just getting a T shirt for ya! ;-) Man, you're fast I just was tellin them I lost ya, will you quit *poofing* like that!?? Sheesh! ;-)

thedarkone: Ahhh you cant get me, you cant get me ;-P;-P;-P
Ya know why?????? Cause your too slow nahhhh... Opps gee sorry boss lost my head there for a second, but now I'm back on my meds and ready to work }-)

Greyzone: I should be drawn an framed for that banana! }-( I will stand before the Courts Martial and await military justice for gross insults towards my superior officer. But hey! Isn't Dark only a recruit or somethin?? I would like to make my case for insubordination and criticizing the judgement of his superior officer. So the way I see we can cut a deal. I'll drop my charges if you drop yours. Sheesh, that Dark is always tryin to get me up the creek! But I couldn't really live with myself so I did a little switch …all better now! (hahahaha) And you wouldn't believe the arm twisting I had to do to get them T's, but here they are, and kinda special too, just to show there's no hard feelings Dark, and a very difficult custom job for you Heartsy. Well wear them with pride and don't forget to return them when you leave shift. Enjoy!

heartsy: ehehe WOOHOO you even found the right size.. all teeny and petitie`. TY grey!!!

thedarkone: Well ok I'll drop all charges...but that's no way to treat HELLS own busboy I tell ya!
But since you got me my shirt I wont complain (nice lettering) but why do all the shirts have pics of your girlfriend on em ?-) heeheehee Opps sorry I forgot that was a secret. (I am so baaaad)

thedemonsmonkey: Geez, I think I just stepped into the Twilight Zone... No, my mind isn't functioning this morning! lol Nice ya got yer T, they're super huh? :-) Space Monkey, didya find yer Diner T-Shirt what Grey brought back for ya??

heartsy: awwww, so sweet all the things you brought back! And no worries Grey.. I popped in while you was gone.. eheheh, umm kind of a Surprise for the homecoming?

Greyzone: So Heartsy, do you want the position of Executive Housekeeper in charge of all matters textile (and various other jobs if we are short staffed?)

heartsy: ummmm housekeeper?? Well I must be honest... I don't like to clean... my motto to guests is.. "My house was spotless last week, sorry you missed it" ehehe.. So anything else open?

heartsy: Me?? A Comic?? ummm OK but need a real big chair.. being so small and all, and umm Grey will you be my writer??

Greyzone: LOL I think all you'll have to do is just look at me! ;-)) How'd you like to be program director on the side, music, dances, tours of the wine celler an such?

heartsy: Hey now that sounds like fun.. hehehe how do I sign up.. where's the application?

Greyzone: One program director at terms to be negotiated when we got paying customers, with stock options, and key to exec. loo.
I, ---------------, accept!
mgt per Demons Monkey, Greyzone.

heartsy: umm lets see terms to be negotiated?? Is that like wages.. well as a lil sprite I don't need much.. maybe a ummm coaster and a napkin to take lil naps on.. when the place is umm quiet, and an occasional bath in a margarita glass?? So's I can stay all fresh n clean?

Greyzone: Lets ink the deal!! >}-))) Then we'll have to go to the Welcome line to get you a coaster, keep Dark company too, in case he comes too. lol ;-)

heartsy: ehehehe woo hoo.. got a job at the classiest joint in town.. err wait.. cyberspace? ehehe... **signs on lil dotty line with big fluffy quill pen**
**crankz up the KISS tunes.. starts getting jiggy wif it** happy lil sprite me is...

Greyzone: The deal has been put to bed.....me too! Night Heartsy, wait til DM sees the way we left everything nice an tidy! But just wait.... Muahahahaha... >;-))

thedemonsmonkey: We're busy finishing up the renovations for the Grand Re-Opening of Gene's LICK IT UP, should be in a few days, right GZ? 8-)

thedemonsmonkey: TY GZ! For all yer work on it over the weekend! %-) Here's a Trophy for ya! ;-) Oh yea, Dark will be jealous, he want's one of those to use as a Brandy Mug!?! 8-)

heartsy: WOO Hooo 2 jobs already.. breakz out lil fluffy feather pen again..**signs...kung-fu sprite**

Greyzone: LMFAO!! Hey Monkey! That's Kung Fu for ya!! It's deadly!
Say Heartsy? Cool move... we're lookin for a Chief of Security, and your qualifications are IMPRESSIVE!
Sign here. When can ya start?
One Chief of Security, at terms to be negotiated when we got paying customers, with stock options, and key to exec. loo.
I, ---------------, accept!
mgt per Demons Monkey, Greyzone

heartsy: woo hoo.. so that makes Program Director, Demolition Sprite.. and now I get to carry a big stick and be security too!!! **whips out the big fluffy pen.. signs on the lil dotty line** hey does this mean I get 2 more Tee's???

Greyzone: Hey Cool!!! Soon as the peeps roll in you can bounce em out if they don't behave!! Woo Hooo! ;-) Tee's, lil prob there! There's only room on the back to put official titles so that means no one can see them. So rather than investing in T's, we're gonna throw staff party's with all that money saved!!

Greyzone: Well we could, but they would either have to overlap, or be real tiny like nano-fonts!

heartsy: humm well workz for me?? I mean mine's so teeny to start with.. who'd notice?

Greyzone: Would you like to read a magazine and wait? Or would you like the wait now pay and before plan?? We would be happy to accomodate both. 8-)

Greyzone: OK Kung Fu! Are ya with me? We'll start ya on the walls. I'll tap my knuckles on the wall to see how solid they are, and if I find the one that holds this place up we'll avoid that one. I mean how well can you trust plans that were drawn by peeps who'd buy the Brooklyn Bridge, eh?

heartsy: lololol.. they would really?? Well I got umm a Big silly statue of this Lady holding a Torch.. any umm buyers out there??... OK walls... *kick.. swing.. Kick..lil puch...*** and one wall came tumbling DOWN...

Greyzone: Ack!!! Run for your life!!! .... oh, that wasn't the supporting wall! Hey I was supposed to tap em. Boy you crazy sprite! Nice one!! We're making progress now and DM will really be pleased! All in a night's work. Take 5 Kung Fu and TY!

thedemonsmonkey: Hey Hearts! Yea, nice shirt... Yes, multi talented you definitely are, Thanks! ]:-)

thedemonsmonkey: Heeelllooooooo.....anybody there!!???LOL Hearts! Where are ya?? Space Monkey!?? GZ??...Oh,yea, yer in a Rant Mode! Hhmmm...okay, that leaves me...alla lone in the world!!! Sheesh! ];-)

heartsy: lololol, me sorry Monkey.. I just had to go rant about that internet radio thing.. damn people.. where's the common sense in the world????

thedemonsmonkey: Uh, I don't really know if that's Dark's thang, GZ...I mean bein barkeeper, ummm...busboy I can see, gets ta slack off alot! Joke Dark! ;-) Anyway, no it doesn't suit him...

thedemonsmonkey: Sheesh! What are you two...sick? j/k uh...don't sneeze around the food GZ! Thanks! Oh yea, let me guess...plaster dust...? lol

Greyzone: Couldn't find any food in here for the mess and we haven't finished the walls yet! I hear you got the decorating plans well under way! A couple of real gems for effects! :-)

thedemonsmonkey: Hi GZ, yea I do try! ;-) Should be good, ya haven't finished the walls?? Well Heartsy's gone ta get wallpaper so ya better hurry up Grey! :-)

Greyzone: Hey! Howcum you didn't bust down a wall while you were here? Delays! Dealys! Were heading over budget you know! When you're dropping by again, why don't you drop one of those walls. Make sure it's not a supporting wall first... hehe ;-) You too Space Monkey, if you're gonna even venture the possibility of getting paid, there are 2 walls standing, take your pick and slam it!! ;-) I wanna see some real dirt by the time I get back in 2 weeks!! (and I don't mean bige's jokes) LMAO

thedemonsmonkey: I been workin GZ!!! %-) Yea, how'd ya think alla new stuff got there?? Fairies, sprites what!?? Sheesh...Hey Squirrel dropped by, wonders why his new menu's not up yet!?! :-) ...Didya see I dragged alla T-Shirts in?? 8-) Not ta mention gilding the ceilings and floors, straightening up yer pic and so on...! lol

Greyzone: Ummmm, I've been travelling at the speed of Grey, you know 2 steps foreward, 3 steps back, 2 to the left, and 4 to the right...stand up, sit down, fight, fight, fight!!! Be right there General!! Sheesh

heartsy: hummmm, well lookz like all have been umm busy.
Look I finally got in..lolol,!

thedemonsmonkey: Hey GZ! Thanks for alla the stuff! Now I Still need more menu suggestions, I've asked Squirrel ta come up with a few more! Hearts is lookin for wallpaper and Dark's gonna help in between his other projects aren'tcha Dark!? ;-)

thedemonsmonkey: **NEW MENU!**
Okay, Satanic Squirrel ;-) suggests these menu items...
- Plaster Caster Pie (they'll even let you watch it rise!)
- Cold Gin (served during breakfast only)
- Almost Human (the Donner Party Platter)
- Love For Sale Special (see chef in backroom)
- Deuce Donuts (two holes in each!!!)
- God of Thunder Burrito
- Rock 'n' Roll All Night and Party Everyday Buffet
- Firehouse Hot Wings (and fine breasts as well!)
- See You In Your Dreams Tonight Refried Beans

Greyzone: Good Question. That all depends ya know. First we got to renovate the place, which means we're gonna have to demolish the place, so we're gonna have to hire some 'demo' people, and then after that we're gonna have to hire some 'reno' people, then come the decorators. By that time the bankers will be trying to get a hold of us, but that's cool cause all successful applicants will be getting stock options and free drinks in lieu of hard cash. So what we are looking for are very cool, hard working people with a weird sense of humour and 'demo' experience, that is demolish, and if you have had experience in demonstrations that would be an asset. Demos with blackbelts will be preferred. At which point we may have some idea when the kitchen will open. Does that help you? ;-))

thedemonsmonkey: Ah Yes! I was gonna say alla that GZ ;-) ...uh, soon as I had a chance! %-) But if yer nice to her she might come back as a customer...when we're actually open! lol Hhmmm...

Okay Space Monkey and alla rest of ya, check out the Diner so far, still a few more things ta do like pix and wallpaper...uh, somewhere, but we're mostly done! lol

Greyzone: Don't forget the sound!! It's comin too! And for a good eat, and/or a good time, call for reservations! Dial EAT-HERE!

Christine15: BTW DM, have you heard about my nothing to lose diet deal for the health nuts at the diner?

thedemonsmonkey: !!!Hi Space Monkey!!!
...Yea somethin very familiar, about your 'NOTHING TA LOSE' diet deal for the health nuts at the diner! lol Go fer it!!! ;-)

Greyzone: I prolly won't hear, but tell me about your health nuts for the Diner! hehe

thedemonsmonkey: That was Not helpful GZ! lol Anyways, you have a nice time in da bush, ummm...don't forget ta write! ;-) Yes, we should be very busy in the next coupla weeks, getting ready for the...... !!!Official Grand Reopening!!! ...now if I could just find *~(((Thedarkbusboy)))~* we'd be in business! :-)

thedemonsmonkey: Okay Chris! where's the diet!?? ...I needed it like last week! lol

Christine15: Menu:
GET ALL YOU CAN TAKE breakfast buffet, just fruits and simple stuff like that, nothing heavy, and LICK IT UP fruit sorbets, and HOTTER THAN HELL soup.(chicken soup, vegetable, noodle soup that is) And WAR MACHINE protein shakes! ROCKET RIDE sandwiches
GIMMIE more bran muffins and yogurt with a SILVER SPOON!

All this talk about food makes lil space monkey hungry! :-> OMIGOD I MIIIIIIIISED YOU GZ! *hugs*
allrighty people lets chow down! Lick it up's looking great DM! We'll be the toast of da town, Hey should we do catering?
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! GREAT T SHIRTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

PSYCHO CIRCUS enchiladas
EVERY TIME I LOOK AT YOU you sundaes
YOU WANTED THE BEST BBQ!

thedemonsmonkey: TY Space Monkey! I'm glad ya like it! Thank you for the Diet Menu and more suggestions for the New Menu!!! :-) Oh, yea I think we should think about catering! Good idea!

Callum Stewart: For your gastronomic consideration:
* 100,000 YEARS - for those who like their steak WELL done!
* NOTHIN' TO LOOSE - might as well try some . . .
* HOTTER THAN HELL - SPICY chicken wings in HOT sauce
* SURE KNOW SOMETHING - Sure know something's in it. Not sure what though.

SPECIALS:
* CRAZY CRAZY NIGHTS: you and three of your friends ca rock n' roll all night with Gene's "Buy Steak, Get A Free Cheesecake" deal!!!
* THE ELDER: Every Wedensday night is OAP's eat free night at LICK IT UP DINER!
* CREATURES OF THE NIGHT: arrive after 11PM, dessert is free!

thedemonsmonkey: Hi Callum! Those are Really Great Menu Suggestions!... I'll add them to the New Menu I'm making, TY! :-)

Christine15: The Elder......pfft! too funny! LOL! I'm gonna hafta bring some really hungry friends! do they get a discount?

thedemonsmonkey: Sheesh Space Monkey...ya want discounts for alla yer friends!!??? ;-) We only have a coupla customers! lol Can't be doin with you & your friends gobblin up alla profits!!! 8-)Okay 2 friends, for breakfast! Okay? :-)

Greyzone: Hey! The menus are starting to look soo cool, or hot, whichever you prefer. I could almost eat them as is! What about maybe we should make edible menus with all the leftovers! q :-p But hold on a sec. I gotta build up my appetite... *picks up the flame thrower and blasts away the last two walls* Now were gonna have to get Dark in here to (((POOF)))) up the new walls so you can paper them, then I can get something to eat!!!

thedemonsmonkey: Hey GZ! Ya still have the flamethrower!!??? lol Uh,yea, DARK!!! Where are ya?????

thedemonsmonkey: Gene's LICK IT UP Diner ~ RE-OPENING SUNDAY AM! ~ :-)
You Want The Best?
Be Our Guest!
The Demon's Monkey welcomes you to Gene's Lick It Up Diner! The PSYCHO CIRCUS of fine dining!
For a little LOVE BITE, or a lot of COLD GIN, we have LADIES IN WAITING who, for just a DEUCE in their tip jar, will be WATCHING YOU, and for anything else they'll let you know if it's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! * TY Greyzone for the nifty text! ;-)

thedemonsmonkey: Greyzone our only customer and occassional dishwasher is going outta town for a coupla weeks, so I'd like you guys, the staff, to take this opportunity to go out and hussle up some more customers for the LICK...
Oh, here is a 'transcript' of last night's first ever KISS Comedy Nite, performed by our very own Callum Stewart!

* Thankyou Callum! ;-)
HOW THAYER REALLY JOINED KISS:
The reunion tour is coming up and KISS are rehearsing. Every week at 9:30 they meet in their apartment on 42nd Street to practise and every week one or more members doesn't turn up for one reason or another. Ace in contrast turns up for every rehearsal, every week, bang on time. KISS' manager decides to show Ace his appreaction and make an example of the other members. He gathers up the four who are one and starts:
"Look guys, the first show in make up for 15 years is next week, and only Ace has been turning for rehearsal."
"Well," says Ace, "I thought it was the least I could go, seeing as I cant make the tour."
Ace, Vinnie and Bruce all live of the same street in Detroit. One day Bruce decides to put up a sign outside his house "BRUCE KULICK: THE BEST GUITARIST IN AMERICA!" Not wanting to be outdone Vinnie puts up a sign: "VINNIE VINCENT: THE BEST GUITARIST IN THE WORLD!" Ace sees this and puts up a sign: "ACE FREHLEY: THE BEST GUITARIST ON THIS STREET!"

Paul, Gene and Peter walk into a bar. Ace ducked

Paul arrives in London for the UK leg of the farewell tour (if only!). His limo is waiting for him on the runway and, after posing for photos and meeting fans, his driver takes him to the hotel. On the way he says to his driver: "Y'know being on the road all the time, I never get the chance to drive myself - could I drive the rest of the way to the hotel?" The driver ponders this, and after a while let's Paul drive. Paul, excited by the prospect of the open road again, puts "Detroit Rock City" on the sterio and puts pedal to metal. 50mph, 60mph, 70mph, 80, 90, 100, 101 miles per hour, faster and faster along the road. A traffic cop sees the limo going 120 mph and immediately contacts his boss. "Chief," he says down the phone, "I've just clocked a limo doing 120mph!" The police chief asks "Why haven't you pulled him over?" "Well boss, he's really important - see, I didn't want to pull him over." The chief says: "listen - he cant be that important - who is he?" The cop answers: "I dunno, but Paul Stanley's his driver!"

Its 1972 and Stanley Eisen and Gene Klien meet for the first time. They hook up with Peter Crisscoula and "Ace " Frehley and form a band called KISS. A club called Coventry offers them a gig and the young foursome jump at the opportunity to play live. During the show two young blondes arrive and stand at the front of the stage drooling over the young and naive Stanley and Gene. After the gig, the two blondes go back stage to meet Stan and Gene and the pair seduce the boys. "Hold up," one of the blondes says, "you boys gotta wear these." She holds up two condoms. "Now," she says, "you gotta promise me you won't take these off."
Stan and Gene promise and the foursome have a night of wild sex.

Jump to: the present day. Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons have bid rock n' roll a fond farewell and have retired. The pair are sitting out on their porch one day when Paul turns to Gene and asks:
"Hey, Gene, remeber the old days?"
"Sure do buddy!" Gene replies.
"Remeber those two girls we met at the Covetary club in NYC?"
Gene smiles: "how can I forget."

These is a pause and Paul and Gene look at each other, then down towards their crotches.

"Hey Paul, Think we can take these off yet?"

Some Peter Jokes:
1. How can you tell when Peter Criss is at your door?
He doesn't know when to come in.
2. How is a drum solo like a sneeze?
You know it's coming but you can't do anything about it.
3. What is the difference between Peter Criss and a chiropodist?
A chiropodist bucks up your feet.
4. KISS want to play an all night gig but Peter is not up for it. Bill Aucoin asks Gene - how late does Peter play? Gene says: about a half a beat behind everyone else.
5. Why are KISS show intermissions only 20 minutes long?
So they dont have to retrain Peter.
6. Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school?
Me neither.
7. How can you tell the drum riser's level?
The drool comes out both sides of Peter's mouth.
8. What does Peter use for contraception?
His personality.
9. How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. As long as the roadie climb up the ladder, sets it up and puts the bulb in the socket for him?
10. Peter walks into a music store and asks for the red trumpet and the acordian. The clerk looks at him a bit funny and says: "you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator stays here."
11. (This is pretty sick) Gene calls Peter but his wife answers. "Can I speak to Peter" Gene asks. "I'm sorry," his wife says, "but Peter died this morning." "Oh, sorry" Gene says and hangs up. Five minutes later Gene calls again and asks for Peter. "I just told you Mr. Simmons, Peter passed away this morning." Another five minutes pass and Gene calls again: "Hello, is Peter in?" "Look buddy boy," Peter's wife starts," Peter is dead, ok? D.E.A.D. Dead! Geddit?" "Yeah," Gene says, "I just love hearing you say it!"

And here's an Ace joke to even things out a bit:
How many Ace Frehley's does it take to change a lightbulb?
15. One to climb up the ladder and hold the bulb in place and 14 to drink till the room spins.

Thankx!
];-DMonkey! per...
Gene's LICK IT UP Diner

>Edited by Starchilds on 06/09/02 06:33 AM.

Greyzone: Too Cool! We've Been BUSTED!! I think they were looking for me though. Did they have big bushy mustaches and sombreros and were diguised as the FBI? So the chef took the heat, eh? Well look on the best side, "any publicity is good publicity" and now that you are notorious you are Waaaaay coool! Should really pack em in now :-)

Well I better vamoose before those ponchos catch up to me. So Monkey, look under the tablecloth where I was sitting. There should be my Banco Card there, and you know how to forge my sig, so run up a huge tab, and don't worry about me, cause I already opened a new account with my Butch Cassidy ID! LOL And thanks StarMonkey for looking after me, and SpaceMonkey, that was one Hell of a show!! And hey chef, keep those customers rollin, loose change is bound to fall out of their pockets! LOL
Adios Amigos! *clip clops off into the sunset*
ROCK 'M DED!!

heartsy: We've been busted? Huh wha??? OK now what did I miss???

Christine15: LOL! Too funny!

thedemonsmonkey: Uh, ya didn't miss a thing Heartsy...'cept yer talkin ta Grey and he's gone!!! lol

heartsy: oh well that figures.. now I'll have to sit here clueless till he gets back...

thedemonsmonkey: LOL!!! ...ahem...Right! lol Well Hearts he'll only be gone for another week an a half...you'll have prolly figured it out by then, and ya won't need to ask him! lolololol :-)

Christine15: Awwwwww.......but he's my #1 fan!LOL!

thedemonsmonkey: He'll be back soon enough Space Monkey! lol Uh, what are we doin about the dishes in the meantime!? Oh yea, forgot, paper plates! ;-)

The DarkOne: *singing*

Don't wanna wait 'til you know me better
Let's just be glad for the time together
Life's such a treat and it's time you taste it
There ain't a reason on earth to waste it
It ain't a crime to be good to yourself

Lick it up, lick it up, it's only right now
Lick it up, lick it up, ooh yeah
Lick it up, lick it up, come on, come on
Lick it up, lick it up

)-)ohh ohhh ohhh its only right now!

Don't need to wait for an invitation
You gotta live like you're on vacation
There's something sweet you can't buy with money -
lick it up, lick it up
It's all you need, so believe me honey
It ain't a crime to be good to yourself

Come on - it's only right now (it's only right now)
Ooh yeah (ooh yeah) ooh yeah (ooh yeah), yeah yeah

Christine15: Ah!!! Darn it! Can you loan me some money?

Christine15: LOL I feel a parody coming up!

heartsy: I got a couple of pennies I could loan ya SpaceMonkey, haven't been making much in tips.. Grey seems to be kind of cheap that way..lololololol

thedemonsmonkey: LOL! Yea, Grey our only customer, and he's gotta be a cheapie huh!? ;-) Actually, he's got a new card, yea, from The Bank Of Mexico yet...uhm...so that should help...I think!!! lol :-)

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