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by: enslavedheart When I took this test, I thought it was time for an updated version... so I made one. Now, not only is it new and improved, but comical too. Enjoy! QUESTION #1 Have you ever slipped your phone number to someone you have never met or spoken to? This question is very outdated, it implies that actually take the time and effort to shower, get dressed up, do the hair and make up, shave, make ourself smell nice, warm up the car, find a damn parking spot, pay the cover charge into the bar, order an over priced drink and find some unoccupied piece of wall where we stand in a dark smoke filled room, screaming at the top of our lungs to be heard over the music. Screw that! Now I am not saying that is the ONLY way to meet new people, but since it is a generalization that most people have, i find it too old fashion. The question should read... Have you ever given your phone number/gotten a phone number .. from someone you just met in a chat room to have phone sex with? QUESTION #2 Have you ever flirted with someone you weren't interested in just to see if you could "get" them? Being that our society is very competitive and it is a healthy and positive thing to continually upgrade your goals and seek higher ambitions.. this question should read... How many times have you flirted with someone JUST to get them.. then find yourself stuck with them and had to dump them by the end of the night? QUESTION #3 You're at a dinner party at your boss's house. Their slightly tipsy spouse starts flirting with you. Do you reciprocate? Now it is important to always have good morals and make good judgements, there is no excuse for selfish behaviour. Under NO circumstances is it proper to take advantage of a drunk. The right thing to do in this situation is to give the spouse one last good stiff drink ( so they don't wake up too soon) before being the perfect guest and putting them to bed for the night. Then go nail her husband! SO the question should be... Do you always make sure you bring your boss's spouse favourite liquor (large size) when invited over for dinner? QUESTION #4 You're at a party and an attractive guest mentions that they have a waterbed. Do you: -Change the subject to something more tasteful. -Say that sounds nice. -Mention that you have a new snsnorkelou've been dying to try out. Now this question caused me difficulty. You see i HAVE a waterbed since 1985.. big wooden four poster one. And on a few ococcasions have been known to use it as a conversation piece. So this would make me the flirter, instead of the flirtee. So perhaps the question should be... Have you ever used the pick up line.. 'Wanna come home with me and see if will can get sea sick on my water bed?' QUESTION #5 You are invited to a pool party where some of the guests will be people you work with. Do you: -Wear the sexiest suit you own -Wear something more demure. -Wear a conservative cover up over the sexy suit in case you change your mind. Another outdated question. Pools are a thing of the past, now a days it is hot tub parities that are the lastest trend. Since it is important not to have any type of reaction to the chemical balance in the water, swim suit are prohibited as they many contain soapy residue from the wash. So this question should be... Do you always remember to sit on someone's lap to make room for other guests to squeeze in when you attend hot tub parities. QUESTION #6 Would you flirt with someone to get free drinks? One of the greatest pleasures in life is giving. It makes a persons heart feel good. So when someone offers to buy you a drink, tell them you never drink on an empty stomach and get a dinner out of them too! So this question should read... Do you always make sure you go out to bars on an empty stomach and know of a good restaurant near by? QUESTION #7 If you were introduced to a hottie, would you kiss them on the lips? There are laws about this type of stuff.. it just don't seem fair that they finally hire this really sexy, single, hot blooded, wonderfully smelling, great haired, tight assed guy at work and put a notice on the staff bulletin board about this new sexual harassment law. What a kick in the head eh? So the question should read... How many times have you innocently been flirting with someone and the next day found yourself up on charges!? QUESTION #8 Have you ever driven past the exit you needed to take to flirt with someone in another car? Driving is difficult under normal conditions let alone when your distracted by some sexy babe in the car beside/infront/behind you. Hell, once a trucker winked at me when he was passing by and I totally forgot where the hell I was going in the first place! Missing an exit is no big deal, what is important is eye contact! Once you make it, don't give it up. Follow for as long as you have to before they point to a coffee shop and motion you to join them. So the question should read... How many times have you crashed your car into another just to get the drivers name and address? QUESTION #9 Have you ever flirted on a job interview because you thought it would help you land the job? Its a jungle out there, and the job market is tight. Use whatever tools you have at your disposal to land that job! It is a matter of eat or be eaten. (does anyone else see the irony in that statement?) Flirting is a tool that can open doors for you, get good at it, use it! SO the decision to use it is not the problem, the real concern should be how well can you use it. The question should be... How many job offers have you landed from flirting? How many marriages have you broken up? QUESTION #10 Have you ever flirted with someone at a funeral? Death brings out so much sadness in people, it is hard to know the right thing to say or do at such a difficult time. So would not flirting be the perfect solution? It would make people appreciate being alive. This would make the whole event much more at ease for people to attend and hence a better turn out. So perhaps the question should read... Have you ever gotten carried away at a funeral and accidentally tried flirting with the deceased? (Oh my God.. that was BAD!! Please accept my apologies if I offended anyone, it really was meant to be funny) 
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