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by: enslaved heart Just as each person is unique and no two relationships are the same, so too are our list of wants and needs. They are based on our values and experiences threw the years as we come to discover that which we enjoy and things that make us happy. Not everything we ask for will be granted which may leave us feeling hurt or disappointed. Submissives may think Dominants are cruel not to oblidge them with everything they ask for but it is his responsibility and right to do so. The trick is to identify the wants from the needs as when the needs are neglected, you will lose trust in a Dom which will result in the inability to dominante you. Typical wants may include: -more play -continually wanting to add elaborate rituals to routines -do activities that the Dom is not interested or confident in doing -desire to have the Dom look, act and talk like other Doms -to dominate you every minute of everyday -to decide your own punishment -to have the Dom read your mind and know what is wrong and how to fix it without telling him Although all these things would be wonderful and make life more enjoyable, none of these requests have an impact on the Dom's ability to control you. They are superficial desires. Needs are much different. THey are important to establish a strong and stable relationship. Basic needs can include: -to feel safe by trusting the Dom no matter the circumstances -establish stability in the Doms control -be able to communicate about anything and everything -feel owned -have value by being an important part of the Doms life -desire to obey and please a Dom because he brings these things out of you -know you cannot manipulate a Dom to get your own way Perhaps the best way to determine a want from a need is to ask yourself... "Will I be miserable and left with a sense of unfullfillment if I don't have this?" "Would I be drawn towards another Dom who could be able to give this to me?" If the answer to both questions is no, then it is a want, and if yes, then it is a need. There are those subs who are ashamed or have a sense of guilt concerning asking a Dominant for something but they must trust him enough to know of the sub's wants and needs. Yet if you find your wants are continually unmet, you need to rethink the relationship, if your needs are neglected, you are likely with the wrong person. 
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