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by: a grateful slave (with Guy Baldwin) Slaving is the primary and favorite source of bliss in my life. I crave to be owned, body, mind, heart, and soul. But I cannot be owned if I cannot be seen, because the Master cannot exercise ownership of what He doesn't know about. And, at least for now, I believe that He cannot master me if I am hiding from Him in any way. In fact, to the extent that I can hide myself from my Master, I am not surrendering to Him. By hiding something, anything, I undermine His power and my respect for him- essentially; I castrate Him (figuratively, of course) without His even knowing it and, simultaneously, sabotage my surrender. Ball cutting slaves are the undoing of Master. I believe this because I have asked Them about it. For me, my secrets keep Him from knowing me and from having me entirely. The capacity within me for secrecy has become my enemy, my slavery is compromised by any obscurity within myself. He can see my body and take and use it for His toy, but He cannot see into my mind unless it is transparent. So, transparency - openness, is one of the principles that guide me in my submissions to Him. When I was a child and played with children, we believed that we could dissolve clouds if we concentrated hard enough on doing that. My mind is like the sky, sometimes clear and sometimes cloudy with fears, secrets, desires, and dreams. Clearness only comes when all the clouds are pointed out to the Master and given names, descriptions, and meaning. Once they are pointed out to Him, the clouds dissolve and there is no longer an opportunity for me to hide within them. Until then, they are me hiding myself from Him. By focusing on the principle -the ideal- of transparency, and the tools I use to become transparent to Him, communication between us becomes easier. The Master is unafraid, or at least less afraid, of what He knows about in my mind, but He is concerned about those things in my mind that He cannot see. In this way, He is like a blind man and I must tell Him about the sights that only I can see inside myself. Some of the things inside my mind are funny, some are sexy, insecure, interesting, beautiful, fearful, stupid, vain, wistful, sad, exciting, and others are just plain boring to Him, but all of them add up to me. And I am who He wants for now. But that could change. I like to think that I have some influence over whether, when, and perhaps even how it might change. To the extent that I believe that if I can be the best slave possible for Him, the odds are better that He will continue to keep me in His life, which, at least for now, is where I want to be. Only time will tell. I try not to dwell in the future because it is, ultimately, unknowable and unpredictable, and subject to change as determined by events in the present. Slavecraft Copyright 2003 
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