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by: enslaved heart Submission means different things to different people. To get a basis to draw from let us examine how it is define. submission: 1)act of submitting, the act of yeilding to power of authority, surrender of power and control, obedience, compliance submissive: 1)a person inclined or ready to submit, acknowledging one's inferiority, yeilding, obedient, humble, modest 2)showing submission, demeanor, subservient, passive In the BDSM lifestyle, it is a submissive's desire to give themself without restriction or reservation to another who is able to dominate them. They desire a relationship to be taken under control where they can submit to their wants and needs. To gain the trust and respect of a submissive to the level where they will give up control, personal power, willingly obey, sharing desires in total honesty .. this is truely a precious gift. When a submissive evolves to the point where they can not only identify their submission but accept who and what they are, they often experience emotions of "rebirth", a transformation from being what they were to what they want to become. Once they begin to feel a stronger pull to identify this part of themself, they also experience grieving at the loss of what they once were. When this occurs, the submissive personality is becoming very strong and a very real part of them. They are often shocked at how deep and powerful these new desires run. They will be times when this realization will fill them with fear and uncertainty and they will want to turn back but they cannot because that which they were is gone. Just as one greives at the loss of physical death, so will a sub grieve for their mental and emotional loss, for the death of innocense. Their life becomes irreversibel as directions are altered and plans change. Elizabeth Kubler Ross discovered there are 5 steps in the grieving process: 1)shock and denial 2)anger 3)bargining 4)depression 5)acceptance Not necessarily in the given order but experienced at some point and for whatever length and intensity that is needed. The final stage, acceptance of what you are and of what you can be, is a hard realization when it fights all that you once believed. For some it can be a long and frustrating process that cannot be rushed. It becomes a personal struggle of being soemthing you cannot live without yet find it difficult to live with. For female submissives, it can be the battle of overcoming the idea that submission and feminism are incompatable. That as a sub, they will be faced with an unequality role within society. Yet they very essence of feminism is being able to have a choice, to choose to live the way you want rather than those roles enforced by our society. Submissives have productive jobs, sucessful careers and healthy children. To submit to another has no reference of being weak or depending on another for everything. Others admire their strength and intelligence as they never feel jeoprodized by their desires of submission. Feminism is a concept for one to decide on how she will choose to live life and the right not to be judged for it. So break free of the ideas once taught to us and trust in what you know to be true. 
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