SEASON FOUR

EPISODE 6: TWO'S A CROWD

By: Elektra

SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE WWF TITANPRIZE. IT'S MISSION: TO EXPLORE AND ENTERTAIN NEW SOCIETIES AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS.  TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO WRESTLER HAS GONE BEFORE!

TITANPRIZE CREW:
Captain Vincent K. McMahon
First Officer, Commander Shane McMahon
Chief Engineer, Commander Stephanie McMahon
Chief of Chiefs, Commander Linda McMahon
Chief of Security, Commander Kane
Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Taker
Communications Officer, Lieutenant Rock
Counselor Al Snow (assisted by H.E.A.D.)
Diagnostics Officer, Lieutenant Commander Jericho
Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Commander Austin
Transporter Chief, Lieutenant Commander Debra McMichael
... And many more!

STARSHIP TITANPRIZE - CAPTAIN'S READY ROOM

    "Captain's log, startdate 061420.00. My precious Stephanie has returned safe and sound. I suppose I must thank the Y2J Unit for that. I am therefore giving Y2J a promotion to Lieutenant Commander, and stationing him in Engineering where his talents will be put to good use. End log. "

THE SMACKDOWN

    "I TOLD you, Chyna ma'am! I AM old enough to be in here! It's not like I'm gonna drink or anything..." Ensign Crash insisted.

    "It doesn't matter. Come on, Crash. Show me your ID. Please?" Chyna replied, holding her hand out, waiting patiently.

    She had said please. He couldn't refuse, "Oooooh... fine, fine!" Crash frowned, then reached into his uniform and pulled out his WrestleFleet ID.

    Chyna took it from him with a smile. The grin grew wider when she saw the picture, "Awwww.... this is so cute! How old were you when they took this?" she asked.

    "The same age I am NOW!" Crash replied, then pouted, "No one ever believes me!"

    Chyna read the name, "Crash Elroy Jetson Holly," she smiled again and handed him back his ID with a pat on the head, "Hey, when you're older, you'll be HAPPY you look younger!"

    "I already AM older!" Crash answered, then sighed. It was no use.

    "Ey, mamacita!" a voice called out.

    Chyna turned around, and positvely radiated happiness, "Hi honey!!" she called out, and waved to Ensign Eddie Guerrero.  He came up to them and handed Chyna a rose, putting his arm around her waist.

    "Whas' goin' on,  mamcita?" he asked.

    "I was just talking to little Crash here..." Chyna began.

    "I AM NOT LITTLE!" Crash shouted, then blushed, his voice getting softer, "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell," then looked at Chyna, "I'm really sorry, Chyna, ma'am..."

        "Commander McMichael to Ensign Crash. Please report to transporter bay 3," a voice came through Crash's comm badge.

    "Be right there, Commander, ma'am!" he said, then offered Chyna a shy smile and headed out.

TRANSPORTER BAY 3

    "Ensign Crash reporting for duty, ma'am!" Crash saluted McMichael.  "What can I do to help?!"

    "Get your ass over here, little boy..." A voice spoke.  Crash spun around to see Dr. Taker waiting impatiently on the transporter pad with Nurse Bearer.  "Here... take this..." Taker handed Crash two bags of supplies. "They're YOUR responsibility! We recieved a distress call from Tacama. They're in the middle of an ion storm. I need someone to help Bearer and myself carry the supplies."

    Crash stepped on to the transporter pad, and waited for the familiar feel of the beam to split his molecules, and stick them together again.

    "See you boys later..." Commander McMichael said.

TACAMA

    Crash sat on the cold cave floor as he watched Dr. Taker and Nurse Bearer tend to the injured. Replicated lanterns lit the inside, but they didn't bring much warmth to the dreary place.

    The ion storm reported earlier had swept over this area of the planet and destroyed many homes, leaving the inhabitants either hurt, or dead. The only shelter were the caves jutting out from the mountainside.

    "Man, I hate caves..." Crash muttered to himself.

    "I think they're scary too..." a quiet voice spoke. He turned to see a little girl, no more then 5,  sitting beside him. She snuggled against his arm. (The Tacama people were well known for their friendliness, and inexplicable trust towards anyone who helped them. Crash thought they were an excellent society). "Did you find your mommy?" the little girl asked.

    "Uh... my mommy's not here..." he replied.

    The little girl nodded her head, her voice still quiet, "Neither is mine. She's gone. The storm took her..."

    Crash looked at her, "I'm sorry..." he said.

    "My name is Anna..." she said.

    "I'm Crash..." he replied.

    She nodded, then crawled on his lap and buried her face in his shoulder.

    Ensign Crash comforted her as she sobbed quietly.

 WWF TITANPRIZE - TRANSPORTER BAY 3

    "McMichael to McMahon..." Commander McMichael tapped her comm badge, "Taker, Bearer, and the Ensign won't be able to beam up unless we take them NOW, sir. The ion storm is disturbing the transporter lock..."

    "Tell them, Commander, then beam them back..." Came McMahon's voice.

    "Yes sir..." McMichael replied, then tapped her comm badge again, "Debra to Taker, we have to beam you out now. Your readings are fluctuating..."

    "Very well," Taker replied,  "There's nothing more we can do here today anyway. We'll beam back down when the storm passes,"

    "Yes, sir. Get ready to beam out," McMichael replied, and within moments, Dr. Taker and Nurse Bearer appeared on the transporter pad.

    But where was Ensign Crash?

    McMichael tried again, "What the...??" she gasped.  "Crash's molecules keep disappearing!" Apparently ion storms are not transporter friendly to Houdinians, she thought. She gave it another shot... and soon Ensign Crash took form on the transporter pad.

    Unfortunately, he wasn't alone.

    Beside Ensign Crash lay... Ensign Crash!

SICKBAY

    "I told you I'm fine, Dr. Taker, sir..." Crash spoke as the dark doctor continued his tests.

    Dr. Taker studied his readings. Everything seemed fine. The Ensign wasn't missing anything in his physical make up.

    He looked towards the OTHER Crash, who seemed to be in a rather foul mood, "Dr. Taker, SIR..." he mocked his original, "Talk about a brown noser," he muttered.

    Crash looked at him, "Hey... show the proper respect to my...er... your... er.. OUR... superior officer!"

    Suddenly, Chyna burst into Sickbay. She looked at Crash... then turned to the OTHER Crash. "CRASH! And.... CRASH!" she gasped, "I just had to see this for myself! WOW!"

    The OTHER Crash noticed her and jumped off his sickbay bed. He looked at her, and smiled, "Yes... you ARE quite wow..."

    She furrowed her brow and looked at him, "Excuse me?"

    He eyed her carefully, "You're quite the woman..." he smiled.

    Chyna took a step back, "Ok..." she said, "You're like... a greasy little leprechaun or something!" She turned to the original, "PLEASE tell me you don't act like this!"

    Crash turned to his double angrily, "Stop that! Miss Chyna deserves RESPECT! Not leers! Especially not from YOU!"

    "Oh shut up! You're acting like a little boy! Why don't you start acting like a man!" He snapped, then turned to Dr. Taker, "I'm out of here! Maybe you can give him a better personality or something!" The sickbay doors opened and, just before he walked out, he took a final glance at Chyna's backside.

    He continued down the hall with a smile.

TITANPRIZE CORRIDORS

    "Hey, Elroy! I heard you had a run-in with a transporter!" Unit Y2J started when he came upon the Ensign he thought was Crash.

    "First off, DON'T call me Elroy. If you insist on addressing me, call me ROY! And I am not the one who had a run-in with a transporter. It was the LOSER!"

    Unit Y2J raised his eyebrows as Roy shoved past him angrily.

    Apparently, Ensign Crash's double had issues.

THE SMACKDOWN

    "Give me another one!" Roy snapped at Terri, who stood at the bar watching him.

    "I think you've had enough, kid..." Terri replied.

    "I SAID give me another!"

    "Hey hey hey, little boy..." two men came up behind him.  "You best be treating ladies with respect!"

    Roy looked at the rude interruption - Lieutenants Bradshaw and Farrooq, "What the hell do YOU guys want? Haven't you given me enough crap in the past?"

    Bradshaw smirked, "Since when did YOU get a potty mouth!? And... an unending thirst for synthehol!" he finished, noticing the empty glasses on the bar.

    Roy offered a small smile, "Since I left my inhibitions in sickbay!" he replied.

    Lieutenant Farrooq looked at him, brow furrowed, "In sickbay...?" then stopped, and realized, "Oh hell! You're the OTHER one!"

    "Yeah, I am!"

    "Well, damn, son... since you drink like a man, lets see if you play cards like a man too!" Bradshaw said.

    "What game?" Roy asked.

    "Poker, boy! What else?" Bradshaw replied.

    "I'll kick both your asses!" Roy answered, and followed them to their table, synthehol in hand.

SICKBAY

    Ensign Crash went up to Chyna, who had kindly been waiting for him, once Dr. Taker declared him free to go, "Listen, Chyna, Ma'am... I'm sorry about that other Crash. I mean, that's not me! Well.. that IS me.. but it's NOT me... I mean..."

    "I know," Chyna smiled, "It's ok. Come. I'll treat you to a drink at the Smackdown..."

    "Oh no!" Crash replied. "I don't drink!"

    Chyna looked at him, "Never?"

    "Of course not!" Crash replied. "Why would I? If my parents knew, they'd give me a lecture!"

    Chyna rolled her eyes, "Whatever..." she held a hand out to him, "Let's just go to The Smackdown then..."

    Crash smiled, and took her hand happily. The two walked together to the Smackdown.

THE SMACKDOWN

    "Damnit! The little snot beat us again!" Farrooq shouted as he and Bradshaw slammed their cards down.

    Roy smiled, and greedily took his tablemates' credits... and Bradshaw's unlit cigar.  "Hey! Those are cuban!" Bradshaw protested.

    "I know! Consider it part of your payment, since I know you won't have much else left after I'm done here..." Roy replied.  He put the cigar in his mouth, and shuffled the cards, sneakily slipping an ace up the sleeve of his Wrestlefleet civilian uniform (civilian since he wasn't truly a Wrestlefleet officer). He turned to waitress beside him,  "Kitty, get me another drink,"

    "Say please..." she said.

    Roy took the cigar out of his mouth, and smiled at her, "Please?" He had Ensign Crash's endearing  smile... yet with just that slight touch of danger that only Roy seemed to possess.

    Kitty smiled back, "You're just so cuuuuuuuuuuuute!" she squealed, "I'll go get you another, sweetie!"

    "Thanks, Kitty!" Roy replied, and turned back to his game. Before he could deal the cards, though, the door to the Smackdown swooshed open. He looked up, and frowned, "Oh crap..." he muttered.

    Bradshaw and Farrooq looked towards the door. Ensign Crash had walked in with Chyna.

    Crash noticed his other half, and frowned in return, then he and Chyna joined Ensigns Guerrero, Benoit, and Malenko at a nearby table.

    Roy turned away, and continued with his game.

    Back at his table, Ensign Crash studied his double warily,  "Ey, Crash..." a voice snapped him out of his momentary trance.

    Crash turned to Ensign Guerrero, "Yes, Eddie, sir?"

    "You can stop with the sir, ma'am stuff! We're all amigos here!" Eddie said. "So, tell me... that OTHER you making you loco?" he asked.

    Crash sighed, "Yeah... he was so rude to Chyna ma'am in sickbay!"

    Eddie stood up, "Ey! He was rude to my mamacita?"

    "It's ok, honey..." Chyna said, "Sit down. I can take care of myself. You know that..."

    Eddie was reluctant, but sat anyway.

    "Listen, I'm sorry Chyna ma'am, Eddie sir... I really am..." Crash replied, and hung his head.

    "Awww... don't worry about it, hun..." Chyna answered, and put an arm around his shoulder.

    Crash smiled, then quickly turned away... blushing slightly.

    Roy watched Crash's immature response to Chyna. Stupid ass, he thought, if he's got a crush on her, why doesn't he just TELL her!

    "Hey... you gonna deal, or what?" Bradshaw's voice interrupted Roy's thoughts.

    "Yeah, I'm gonna deal! Be patient!" Roy snapped, then handed out the cards.

    His hand froze just before he dropped the last card, and he started to shake.

    "Yo, kid... what's wrong?" Farrooq asked.

    Roy stood up, as did Crash a few feet away. The two looked at each other. Both were shaking.

    The two then both fell to the ground, unconscious.

SICKBAY

    "What's wrong with me, doc?" Crash asked, "Am I gonna die? Am I?"

    "Not at this moment, no... but..." Dr. Taker began.

    "But what? Spit it out, dead man!" Roy snapped.

    Dr. Taker turned to him. How dare this little thing speak to HIM that way! He frowned, his voice cold, "You need each other..." he said.

    Crash furrowed his brow, "What do you mean?"

    Dr. Taker sighed, and spoke to Crash, "While I did not detect any anomalies in your make up, there is something in both of you that the other does not have. It's difficult to explain. You are split in two, quite literally. And unless you rejoin, neither of you may live much longer," He turned to Roy, "You are part of Crash. A part of his personality, albiet a part that he keeps hidden deep within him,"

    "You gotta be kidding me!" Crash said, "I can't POSSIBLY have a foul-mouthed, beer-guzzling... big ol' MEANIE within me!"

    "You can, and you DO. He is you, you are him. I do not know how else to explain it." Dr. Taker said, "We need to rejoin you two... or else..." he let the sentence trail. He need not say anymore.

    "Screw that!" Roy spoke, "I'm not going back inside that... WIMP!"

    "I am NOT a wimp!" Crash retorted.

    "Oh no?" Roy sneered, "Then why can't you tell Chyna ma'am that you have the hots for her!"

    "I do NOT---"

    "Don't try to deny it!" Roy interrupted, "As the good doctor said, I'm YOU! I know how you feel! How you THINK!"

    "But... she's got Eddie! I'm not going to ruin that!" Crash said, then shrugged, "Besides, I'll get over it..." he finished, though even to himself he didn't sound very convincing.

    "Maybe if you were more of a man, she'd be interested!" Roy snapped.

    "I AM a man!" Crash insisted.

    "Bull! You're nothing but a little boy trapped in a big boy's body! Hell... not even a big boy! You're what... about 2 feet tall?" Roy shouted.

    Crash looked at him, and clenched his teeth, "I am NOT..." Crash began, "I'm---"

    "I don't give a damn WHAT you are! You ain't a man, that's for sure!"

    "Be quiet..." he spoke, barely containing his temper.

    "No. I won't! Because you're a pathetic little piece of---"

    "Shut up!" Crash shouted, finally snapping with anger, "Shut the hell up!  You have no right to speak to me that way,  jackass! And I’ll be damned if I’m going to take any more crap from you!"

    With that, Crash lunged at Roy, and the two fought on the floor of sickbay.

    Dr. Taker was surprised. Did the usually polite and quiet Ensign Crash just spew obscenities?! How... interesting.

   Roy tossed Ensign Crash off him and, in the blink of Dr. Taker's eye, he disappeared.

    Dr. Taker stared at the spot Roy had been in... but there was nothing. He then turned to see if Ensign Crash was ok... but he was gone as well.

    Dr. Taker thought nothing of it, since it was pointless to attempt to find two Houdinians who didn't want to be found. However, something was amiss. The dark one turned to his tray of tools, and noticed one of his hyposprays missing.

    A hypospray that held a poisonous paralyzing agent.

TRANSPORTER BAY 3

    "Punch in coordinates 06-54-23 and move away from the console, McMichael!" Roy snapped as he held up a phaser he had borrowed from a nearby security Ensign on the way to the transporter room. Pickpocketing was a talent many Houdinians had. They were quite good with their hands when they needed to be.

    "Roy...?" she asked, recognizing the civilian uniform, "Where did you---"

    "Don't talk! Just DO what I TOLD you to do!" he shouted.

    Lieutenant Commander McMichael jumped. His voice was loud and angry. Nothing like the kind, quiet Ensign Crash. The Transporter chief held up her hands, "Ok... ok... just... put the phaser down..."

    Roy eyed her carefully, and jumped on the transporter pad. "NOW!" he commanded.

     Debra powered up the transporter, but just before Roy disappeared, Ensign Crash burst into the transporter room. He jumped on the platform... and disappeared with his double.

UNIDENTIFIED PLANET

    Crash found himself lying on his face on the floor of the cave the ion storm survivors had taken shelter in.

    Luckily, he was in an empty cavern at the moment.

    "Bastard! Did you have to follow me?!" Roy shouted.

    Crash felt Roy grab his arm and tug him to his feet violently. Roy spun Crash around to face him, phaser armed and ready.

    "What are you going to do? Kill me?! You heard what Dr. Taker sir said! If we don't rejoin, we BOTH die anyway!" Crash reminded him.

    "I don't give a crap what Dr. Taker said! I'd RATHER die then be stuck inside your body again!" Roy replied, then smiled coldly, "Although I did see a touch of myself in you a few moments ago..."

    "Crash..." a quiet voice spoke.  Roy spun around to see a young Tacaman with wide blue eyes and slightly disheveled brown hair. She had apparently been wandering the caverns and come upon them.

    "Anna!" Crash gasped, "Go back to your friends!"

    "They're sleeping..." Anna replied, then smiled, "I didn't know you had a twin brother!" her face grew serious for a moment, "I wish I had a twin too..."

    "No. You don't..." Crash said, "But.. please.. Anna... go back to your people! They'll be looking for you..."

    "Is the scary doctor going to come back?" she asked.

    "Scary doctor? Oh... Dr. Taker? Yeah. He'll be back tomorrow... right now, though---"

    "Just GO THE HELL AWAY, you little SNOT!!" Roy shouted angrily.

    Anna jumped back, scared, "Your brother's mean..." Anna said quietly.

    "Please... Anna...." Crash began, but Roy interrupted him.

    "Please Anna. Please Anna..." Roy mocked, "Could you be any more annoying, Crash?" he turned to the little girl, and aimed the phaser at her, "Go away. Before I use this on your pretty little face!"

    "NO! Leave her alone, Roy!"

    Roy looked at Crash, "Why? Is it mean of me to kill her? Too bad, huh! If it will prevent me from returning inside you, then I don't give a damn!" he turned back to Anna.

    Ensign Crash didn't know what else to do. He jumped Roy from behind, and pressed Dr. Taker's hypospray to his double's neck. There was a brief hiss, an angry shout from Roy... and then he fell to the ground, momentarily paralyzed.

    Crash stared at his double. The only thing moving was his eyes now. They looked extremely angry.

    Crash turned to Anna, "Go back to your people. Dr. Taker and I will come visit tomorrow!"

    Anna nodded, and headed off.

    Crash grabbed his paralyzed double, and tapped his comm badge. "McMichael ma'am... beam me up. You will notice a 2nd set of DNA. Simply merge it with mine,"

    "Sure, sweetie..." Debra replied, and Crash waited for the comforting sweep of the transporter beam.

THE SMACKDOWN

    "Damnit!" Bradshaw swore angrily as he threw down his cards,  "Didn't know you were so good at Poker, kid! If you win one more hand, I'm gonna have to beat the living crap out of you!"

    Crash shrank back,  "I... I'm sorry Bradshaw sir... guess some of Roy rubbed off on me..."

    "Speaking of which... you were telling me that little bastard tried to hurt a kid down on the planet?" Farrooq asked.

    Crash nodded, "Yeah..." he was quiet for a moment as a thought disturbed him... if Roy was capable of hurting that little girl, does that mean I....

    "Hey Crash..." a voice spoke, interrupting his thoughts. Chyna had come up to the table, "You look kind of down..."

    "Uh..." Ensign Crash started, then smiled, "I'm fine, Chyna. Really..."

    "What... no Chyna ma'am?" she asked.

    "Sorry... would you prefer if I called you ma'am?"

    "No no..." She smiled, "Just Chyna is fine..."

    "Fine Chyna then..." he replied, then winked at her.

    Chyna was surprised, and offered an amused smile, "Cute, Holly... very cute... but I'm taken!"

    Crash shrugged, "Had to try..." he replied with a smile.

    "And it was a good try. Maybe if I was single---" she let the sentence trail, and walked off to the next table.

    "Since when did YOU get so brave, kid?" Farrooq asked.

    Crash furrowed his brow, and shrugged, "I don't know... I really don't." The small Ensign sighed.

    Perhaps rejoining with Roy left the double's personality a bit closer to the surface.

    "Since he thinks he can beat ME at poker!" Bradshaw replied, not hiding his anger. He glared at Crash, "You take any more of my beer money, and you'll know what getting beat REALLY means!"

   Crash took a deep breath... but suddenly felt brave enough to challenge the angry security Lieutenant to yet another hand of poker.

    It seemed Ensign Crash was living a bit more dangerously these days.