SEASON THREE

EPISODE 8: WHEN THE WALLS COME CRUMBLING DOWN
PART ONE

By: Elektra

SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE WWF TITANPRIZE. IT'S MISSION: TO EXPLORE AND ENTERTAIN NEW SOCIETIES AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS.  TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO WRESTLER HAS GONE BEFORE!

TITANPRIZE CREW:
Captain Vincent K. McMahon
First Officer, Commander Shane McMahon
Chief Engineer, Commander Stephanie McMahon
Chief of Chiefs, Commander Linda McMahon
Chief of Security, Commander Kane
Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Taker
Communications Officer, Lieutenant Rock
Counselor Al Snow (assisted by H.E.A.D.)
Diagnostics Officer, Lieutenant Jericho
Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Commander Austin
Transporter Chief, Lieutenant Commander Debra McMichael
... And many more!

WWF TITANPRIZE – CAPTAIN’S READY ROOM

  "Captain's log.  Stardate 060820.00. We are now leaving Starbase Deep Space 13. Lieutenant Jericho has brought aboard some nan... nano-something-or-others to study that had been left behind. He has been given permission, provided he keeps the nano-something-or-others contained. End log." The computer complied, and the Captain took his post.

    Unit Y2J looked at the screen in front of him. He put his hands under the micro-camera and moved the sample around, careful not to touch it. On the screen, the computer studied it from all angles. He made a note in his positronic brain, and continued his study.

    Suddenly, the door behind him burst open, "JERICHO! YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED NOW!" an angry voice shouted.

    Unit Y2J turned around to see Triple H stalking towards him with purpose, "Hey, Trip. How can I help you?"

    Triple H was in no mood for nicknames, "Shut up! What have you been calling my WIFE, you metallic bastard?"

    Lieutenant Jericho shrugged, "I’ve been calling her a skanky, filthy, disgusting, brutal, bottom-feeding, trashbag ho. Why? Is there a problem with that?"

   Triple H threw Lieutenant Jericho onto the research table angrily, "Don’t you DARE call her that again, or I’ll rip out your wires one by one!" The DX rebel began pounding fiercely at the Lieutenant's face, but only succeeded in hurting himself. "DAMNIT!"

    Unit Y2J smiled smugly, "No-selling titanium metal," his face then grew serious, "Now would you get the HELL off me?"

    Triple H did so, but was still furious. He grabbed the closest thing he could find -- the micro-camera -- and tossed it, sample and all, at Jericho.

    The Y2J Unit's super-fast reflexes kicked in as he caught it... at least, most of it! The sample slide crashed to the floor, shattering. He threw the micro-camera back at Triple H, who didn't have much luck catching it, and ended up having an imprint of it on his face.

    Unit Y2J knelt on the ground, carefully using his own built-in microscopic camera to find the nanites. He swore as he felt a prick in his finger from the broken glass on the floor. He looked up at Triple H, "Great going, Trip! I lost the nanites! There's no telling WHERE they are now, and how much damage they'll cause to our computer systems!

    "You think I give a damn?!" Triple H shouted, "You think I really give a damn about your stupid experiment... or whatever the hell it was you were doing!"

    Lieutenant Jericho stood up, arms crossed, "We'll see how much you care when the nanites begin to mess up our systems!"

    "Screw the damn computer systems!" Triple H snapped, "And screw you too!" he then spun around and headed out the door, fuming.

    Lieutenant Jericho made his way to the bridge. He had to inform the Captain of the possible danger to the ship.

    As he walked, he paused for a brief moment. He didn't know why, but for some reason, he just didn't want to move.

    "For those with the benefit of flash photography, take your pictures now! Only ten credits a shot!" a voice shouted.

    Jericho blinked, and turned to see Ensigns Edge and Christian posing beside him.

    A group of his fellow crewmen were standing in the corridors, staring at him, "What?" he asked, then noticed Dr. Taker. He was scanning the Y2J Unit with a tricorder. "What the... where'd YOU come from?"

    "I've been scanning you for two hours..." Dr. Taker answered, and shut the tricorder off. "You seem to be functioning normally now..." he said, then took his leave without another word.

    Unit Y2J turned to everyone else, "TWO hours?"

    "Well, that's how long Dr. Taker's been here. Christian and I found you about FOUR hours ago!" Ensign Edge spoke.

    Lieutenant Jericho turned to him, "Have you been posing beside me for FOUR hours?" he asked.

    Christian nodded, "You were SO not moving!" then he smiled, "But you made us some good money!" he held out a handful of credits, "People wanted to take pictures of the triplets. Can't imagine why they thought the three of us looked so much alike..." he shrugged, then nodded towards Edge, "Let's go," the two Ensigns headed off to their quarters to count their credits.

    "HEY! Shouldn't I get some of those credits too?" Jericho shouted. The two Ensigns ignored him and went on their way.  Lieutenant Jericho shook his head, and tried to recall the last 4 hours in his memory bank. Everything was a blank.

    So... what HAD happened to the Y2J Unit?

    "So, I heard about you spacing out earlier today!" Terri began as she leaned on her bar, "What happened?"

    Unit Y2J shook his head, "I have NO idea! I need to run a complete systems diagnostic on myself," he sighed.

    "Poor guy!" Terri spoke, "Maybe this will cheer you up. I heard this great joke..."

    "Joke? I heard a great one the other day myself!" he said.

    Terri smiled, "You go first...!"

    "Ok.... 1010011011101110111001101111001110101100001100101110011101!!" he said, then smiled, "Funny, isn't it?"

    Terri looked at him, confused, "I have NO idea what you just said..."

    "Don't you get the joke? You see, he WANTED them to take his wife!!"

    "Chris, honey... all I heard was a bunch of  ones and zeros from your lovely mouth. I didn't hear any joke!" Terri explained.

   Now it was Lieutenant Jericho's turn to be confused, "No... I said the joke... didn't I?"

    Terri shook her head, "Maybe you should go run that diagnostic now..."

    "Good idea!" he said, then quickly headed to his quarters.

    Jericho ran a self-diagnostic, but detected no anomalies or irregularities in his system. He suddenly felt very tired... "Tired?" he asked himself. Since WHEN did he sleep?

    Perhaps he had simply been hanging around humans so long that some of their habits had rubbed off on him. Oh well, it couldn't hurt to shut his eyes for a few moments...

    Commander Stephanie McMahon-Helmsely headed towards engineering. She stopped when she saw Unit Y2J wandering aimlessly along the corridors.  "Hey bytes for brains, are you lost or something?! Don't you know your way around this ship yet?!"

    Lieutenant Jericho quickly walked up to her... a little to close for comfort. He stared down at her, his eyes looking somewhat wild... studying her. Stephanie took a step back, "What's wrong with you?"

    Suddenly, Unit Y2J grabbed Commander Stephanie... and kissed her!

    "GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY WIFE!!" Triple H shouted as he came upon the scene.  He quickly pulled Stephanie away, and looked at the Lieutenant, "That's it! I'm going to kick your ass right here, right now!!"

    The Y2J Unit suddenly fell to his knees, and grabbed his head. He let out a loud, high-pitched screech... much like that of a 21st century fax modem.

    Triple H backed away, pulling Stephanie with him, "What the HELL is wrong with the damn bot!"   Stephanie didn't answer, still in shock, "What did he do to you?"

    "Oh! Hunter!" she started, "It was HORRIBLE!" She glared at Unit Y2J, "That perverted robot took advantage of me!" she said, then furrowed her brow as Y2J's face started twitching something fierce, "What the...? He's like... malfunctioning!"

    Suddenly, Unit Y2J jumped to his feet and blinked quickly. The twitching stopped. He seemed confused, "How did I get out HERE?" he asked, then looked at Steph, "What did YOU do  to me?"

    "What did I do....??" Stephanie started, then began to fume, "YOU'RE the one who kissed me!"

    "I did WHAT?!"

    "You kissed me, you stupid, dumb, blonde JERK! How DARE you?!"

    "Now why the hell would I go and do THAT?" He asked.

    "I don't know! You tell ME!" Stephanie replied, "After you kissed me, you started making some weird sound..." she smiled slyly, "Guess I was too much woman for you..."

    "You're too much of SOMETHING alright..." he muttered rudely, then shook his head, "Excuse me... I have to go lock myself in my quarters now and be sick..." with that, he spun around and left.

    "What's wrong with me? I was sitting here... then I closed my eyes... and the next thing I know, that skank 'ho insists I KISSED her!" Unit Y2J thought to himself. He frowned. Perhaps he would have to take drastic action.  He tapped his comm badge, "Lieutenant Jericho to Dr. Taker... I'm coming down to sick bay. Get a containment field ready for me... and make sure I DON'T get out!!"

    The doctor's grave voice came over the comm, "Why?"

    "Because... I think I'm infected with something... and it's messing up my systems! I'll be down in a few moments..."

    With that, the Lieutenant ran out of his quarters, and headed to sickbay.

SICKBAY

    Unit Y2J lay on the diagnostics table as the dark doctor leaned over him and scanned him. "You have a bug in your system..." he said.

    "A bug? What do you..." he paused, then remembered, "The nanites!!" he gasped, "You HAVE to get them out of me! I'm not compatible with the programming and I'm losing control of my cerebral functions! I mean... REALLY losing control!" he finished, then shuddered involuntarily.

    "What happened?" Dr. Taker asked.

    "NOTHING!" Jericho said quickly, not wanting to explain what had happened with Stephanie in the corridor. He would be the laughing stock of the ship if that ever came out!

    Dr. Taker raised an eyebrow, "That bad?"

    Jericho turned his head, "Just... make sure I don't get out!"

    "Very well..." he replied, then turned one of his assistants, "Give him one of these now, and again in two hours..." Dr. Taker said, and handed the assistant a hypo. "It will slow down the nanites' attempt to control his cerebral functions..."

    "Yes sir..." the assistant, Nurse Saturn, went up to Lieutenant Jericho's diagnostic table. He looked at Unit Y2J. The android had somehow fallen asleep in the last few minutes, "Odd... I didn't think android's slept..."

    A voice emerged from Unit Y2J, and it was NOT the Lieutenant's, "They don't..." it said, "But it's the only way WE can explore your ship freely..."

    Nurse Saturn furrowed his brow, "What the....?"  Unit Y2J turned his head towards him.  His eyes were now solid black.

    Saturn took a step back and called for Dr. Taker, but his call was quickly interrupted as the Y2J Unit's hand shot up, and tightened around the nurse's neck.

    Within moments, Nurse Saturn blacked out.

    Lieutenant Jericho entered engineering quickly. He brushed roughly past Commander Stephanie, and headed to the warp core.   "Watch where you’re going!" Stephanie snapped.

    He didn't reply. Instead, he broke into the core panel and began to detach and reattach various wires. He studied each wire carefully, and made mental notes.

    Stephanie went up to him and grabbed his arm, trying to pull it away from the sensitive controls, "WHAT do you think you're DOING?" she demanded.

    He turned to her, "Commander Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley... Chief Engineer aboard the WWF Titanprize..."

    Commander Stephanie looked at him. His voice was strange... and his EYES... "What's wrong with you?!" she asked, annoyed.

    Suddenly, Unit Y2J grabbed Stephanie's arm, and pulled her out of Engineering... kicking and screaming.

    Lieutenant Jericho shoved Stephanie in the passenger seat of the Shuttlecraft HEAT as he took the controls.

    "Are you kidnapping me?! I'll have you know, my daddy---"

    "We are going to coordinates 56893!" the strange voice spoke through Lieutenant Jericho.

    "Listen. I don't care WHERE the hell you go! Just leave me out of it!" She stood up and headed towards the door of the shuttlebay.

    "You are coming with us!" he said.

    "US? Who's US?" Stephanie asked.

    Lieutenant Jericho didn't answer. Instead, he pulled out a phaser, and fired.

    Commander Stephanie collapsed to the ground, unmoving

    "Dr. Taker to Captain McMahon. Unit Y2J is malfunctioning. He has left one nurse severely injured, and was last seen heading towards shuttlebay 5."

    "McMahon..." Lieutenant Rock began, "Shuttlebay 5 just reported that Unit Y2J has taken shuttlecraft HEAT.

    Captain McMahon looked towards Ensign Christian, "Any lifesigns?"

    "Only one..." he replied.

    "Open hailing frequencies..." Captain McMahon demanded. "This is Captain McMahon to shuttlecraft HEAT. Halt and return to the ship!" The shuttlecraft didn't respond, "Lieutenant Jericho, we are locking you in a tractor beam and bringing you back ourselves..."

    The tractor beam was sent out... but the was quickly deflected by the shuttlecraft shields, "Sir... the shields of the HEAT have been modified to reject the tractor beam!" Ensign Angle replied.

    Finally, a voice spoke from the shuttlecraft... but there was no image, "Lieutenant Jericho is our host now. We will do with him what we wish... and there is NOTHING your pitiful species can do about it..."

    Captain McMahon frowned, "PITIFUL?" he snapped, "We'll show you how pitiful we are! Mr. Austin..." he began, "Fire a warning shot!"

    "I ain't firing on the damned android!" Austin spoke.

    "Fire a warning shot! Do it NOW... or I will force upon you the ultimate torture..." McMahon looked towards Ensign Rikishi, and Austin immediately knew what the Captain was hinting at.

    "Damn you!" Austin muttered.

    Within seconds, the Titanprize fired upon Lieutenant Jericho's shuttle.

    A flash of light from the Titanscreen briefly blinded everyone on the bridge.

   When all was clear, the shuttlecraft HEAT was no where to be seen, "What the hell happened?" the Captain demanded. "It was just a warning shot!"

    "I'm sorry, sir..." Ensign Jeff spoke up as he checked the sensors, "but ... sensor's indicate the shuttlecraft HEAT had been destroyed..."