#6. That nagging feeling that if you press the right button, you'll get a piece of cheese! 
#5. The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right. 
#4. 23 power cords, 1 outlet. 
#3. Prison cells are not only bigger, they also have beds. 
#2. When tours come through, you get lots of peanuts thrown at you.... 
#1. You can't slam the door when you      quit and walk out 

Subject: Consultant 
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand 
new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. 
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie 
leaned out of the window and said: "If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" 
The shepherd looks at the yuppie, then at his peacefully grazing flock and 
calmly answers "Sure". 
The yuppie parks the car, whips out his laptop, connects it to a cellphone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system, scans the area, opens up a database and some 60 Excel spreadsheets with complex formulas. Finally he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech miniaturized printer, turns to the shepherd and says: 
"You have here exactly 1,586 sheep". 
"This is correct, as agreed you can take one of the sheep" says the shepherd. 
He watches the young man make a selection and bundle it in to his Cherokee. 
Then he says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you 
give me my property back?" 
"Okay, why not" answers the young man. 
"You are a consultant" says the shepherd. 
"This is correct" says the yuppie, "How did you guess that?" 
"Easy" answers the shepherd, 
 "You turn up here although nobody invited you, 
you want to be paid for an answer to a question I never asked, you gave me 
information I already knew, and you don't know Jack-shit about my business 
because you took my dog".