Five Rez Dawgz, out to make over the world - one Waanaabii at a time!

Each week their mission is to transform a style-deficient and culture-deprived Waanaabii from pesty to zesty in each of their respective categories:

* Commodity Dood - Fry Bread and Moose Meat Connoisseur

* Rez Dawg - Double Wide Design Doctor

* Cyber-Skin - Cyber-Culture DEWD

* Chizzie – Gud grooming on a budget

* NDN Cowboy - Rodeo Fashion Savant

Combined, our Rezzified Five experts have enough collective culture and style sense to power a rez-rocket to the planet Rez-tastic. Let them lay it on you in bite-size, easy to swallow caplets of wisdom, delivered here weekly.

It's a full lifestyle make-over!
A make better show where Waanaabii guys turn in their man-bags, tarot cards and crystals for some good durable Wranglers and political t-shirts, learn about a lifestyle that isn’t featured on television and come to understand why Rez folks are NOT laughing with them. When their spitchul journey is done, a freshly scrubbed, newly enlightened, less annoying whiteman emerges.



Episode 1

The fab five visit the men's movement

The fab 5 have heard of getting in touch with mother earth, but this is ridiculous! Beating your chest and grunting in the woods on the week ends doesn’t make you a man. Understanding your responsibility to other human beings does.
Commodity Dood recommends: "All that mud under the nails is a social no-no. It can alter the taste of fry bread!" "Take a shower, find a good woman that knows how to cook and start listening to her. A good woman can teach you how to be a real man!"



Episode 2

The fab five re-visit the men's movement (some make-overs don't take)

Rez Dawg tries to make this guy understand that waxing your back hair is not a sacred ceremony and it doesn’t make you the shaman of the tribe. “I recommend that you stop wasting so much money on these warrior weekends and spend and afternoon of Rez ball!”



Episode 3

The fab five visit Santa Fake

Cyber Dood offers some authentic N8tive wisdom, "This Generokee schtick has got to go! Culture-Vulture chic is so last millennium! "I’d recommend investing in some good running shoes. The beneficiaries of this tribute you got goin’ on here might be hopping mad about being the recipients of such a dubious honor." "Oh yeah always remember, it’s better to get a spatula online than to try to get spitchul online." Advice from Cyber Dood's Gramma: "Behave!"



Episode 4

The fab five visit the "bear tribe"

On seeing our next contestant, Chizzie exclaimed, "Whoa! Some little kids going to be cryin’ when he finds out what you did to his stuffed toy! Quit playin’ with your wife’s lipstick and wash that mess off your face!" The fab 5 all agree, this is really too much for an afternoon at Wal-mart.



Episode 5

The fab five perform an emergency makeover on a "two spirit."

Chizzie can't understand this dood at all. "He's not male and he’s female, so what is he? Fodder for parody! And wassup with this claim to two spirits? Like one isn't good enough for him?" Chizzie, recommends spending less time on developing the six pack at the gym and more time developing some common sense. Rodeo fashion savant recommends, "Throw that skimpy outfit out – you can’t even button your pants! The word we’re looking for here is DIGNIFIED! You need some good eatin’ pants in Paalii-ester – it grows with you when you eat."



Episode 6

The fab five visit the world's oldest living Dead-Head

Commodity Dood is horrified by this guy’s dinner. "What’s on the menu? Tofu, sprouts, wheat grass? Save it for compost!" Commodity Dood recommends. "It’s time for some REAL NDN food! "If you’d consume enough calories and lay off the pot you’d come to realize that you have not been charged with the duty of disseminating any spiritual information to anyone."

Come on!
Let’s go shopping?
NO wait, better yet – we’re goin’ hunting!



Episode 7

The fab five visit a 're-enactor's' camp

Yikes! This guy’s so white people are going to start reporting that they’ve seen UFOs! The fab 5 recommend he cover up that white skin before he blinds the drivers on the autoban. Chizzie comments, "This camp is a decorating disaster ennit? "I'm thinking a shovel and a wheelbarrow and we could probably get this camp pretty much under control." Rez Dawg disagrees, "the only thing this camp needs is a match!"







If you have an idea for a wannaB make-over, send it in and we'll post it here.

Our e-mail: Acorn_Coffee_Club@anishnaabe.zzn.com




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